


He's My Cherry Pie

by Aria_Lerendeair



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkwardness, Cas Doesn't Understand Those References, Dean Teaching Cas About Music, Friendship to Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Stripper!AU, Takes place at the same time as Nemo, Winchester Brother Feels, drunk!sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 02:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5610244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a stripper.  The first time he meets Cas, he sees the guy breaking up with Crowley.  The next time he sees Cas, he gets to talk to him for the first time, finds out he’s Gabriel’s brother.  Sure, the guy’s a little nerdy, but Dean likes him immediately.  After that, well, Dean realizes he’s in way too deep, when he has a drunken night with Cas and Cas gives him the out of pretending it never happened.  For the first time in his life, Dean finds himself disappointed with that out, and wishing that maybe…Cas had been different.  Cue some misunderstandings, some overdue conversations with Sam, and maybe, maybe a second chance with his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Nemo titulum istum interpretari scit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1472650) by [Aria_Lerendeair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair). 



> OKAY SO LEMME ESPLAIN YOU A THING. SO NOT ONLY DID LETZI DO THE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING BANNER ABOVE? SHE DID TWO FULL PICTURES OF ART AND EVEN SKETCHED A THIRD. SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!! I AM DED. 
> 
> WARNING THAT ONE OF THE PIECES OF ART IS NSFW. <3
> 
> Art #1: http://disizletzi.tumblr.com/post/132946917389/dcbb-2015-hes-my-cherry-pie-by
> 
> Art #2 (NSFW WARNING): http://disizletzi.tumblr.com/post/132947148329/dcbb-2015-hes-my-cherry-pie-by 
> 
> Art #3: http://disizletzi.tumblr.com/post/132951416374/so-a-bonus-from-my-dcbb-2015-i-tried-to-do-a
> 
> Banner: http://disizletzi.tumblr.com/post/132946789109/dcbb-2015-hes-my-cherry-pie-by
> 
> Also, this is a companion fic to: Nemo titulum istum interpretari scit
> 
> AKA The Gabriel Stripper AU fic

 

 

 

 

 

“Cassie, Cassie, you’ve got to understand-”

 

“I don’t believe I need to speak with you about this further. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear, Crowley,” a low voice growled.

 

Dean perked up from the slow stretch he’d sunk into and watched Crowley slam the door to his office and chase after a dude in a trench coat. He wrinkled his nose. Crowley was an asshole, but he could do much better than some dude who ran around wearing a trench coat on sunny days.

 

“Cassie-”

 

“May I remind you, you just announced that you were breaking up with me! Because you found me _boring_!”

 

Whoa, okay, trench coat guy was pissed. Dean raised an eyebrow and bent low over his left leg again, keeping an eye on them as trench coat swirled and stalked out of the club. Whatever had happened between the two of them, the dude certainly wasn’t _boring_.

 

He’d always figured Crowley had shit taste anyway. This was just confirmation.

 

Dean focused on his stretching so he could pretend he hadn’t seen that little exchange between Crowley and Trench coat.

 

“Dean!” Crowley barked.

 

Dean looked up and raised an eyebrow, relaxing his legs as he watched Crowley stalk closer. “Yo, boss-man.”

 

Crowley scowled in the direction of the doorway and Dean kept his face blank (with a little effort), because what the fuck did he think was going to happen when you called someone you were with, boring. “Let me know if he comes back.”

 

Dean nodded and watched Crowley stomp back to his office before he started stretching again. If Trench coat was smart, he would bail and not bother to come back.

 

 

~!~!~!~

 

 

“And Crowley, asshole that he is, has the nerve to call my brother boring! Nevermind that he _is_ a little boring, but that’s not his fault, he’s just...bookish!” Gabriel said, tying up his boots as he glanced over at Dean, lost in his own world. “Yo, Dean! You listening over there?”

 

Dean blinked and turned his attention back to Gabriel. “Huh?”

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and finished tying off his boots. “You’re as scatterbrained as my brother.”

 

Dean stared at Gabriel and took that piece of information in, absorbing it. He tried to remember if they had ever been introduced, but no, he would have remembered meeting a smaller version of Gabriel. He cringed and shook his head. That was bad enough to imagine as-is. "You have a brother?"

 

Gabriel was staring at him in shock. Well, fuck, apparently he'd earned that. _Awesome_. "What?"

 

"He's the guy Crowley just dumped. My brother, Castiel," Gabriel said, standing up and folding himself in half.

 

Dean took a second to admire the easy flexibility Gabriel had. Fucking bastard made that shit look easy, though Dean knew from experience that he got his ass kicked in yoga whenever he tried.

 

Gabriel took special vindictive pleasure in it, the asshole. "Didn't realize your brother was dating Crowley."

 

"Me neither," Gabriel grumbled under his breath. "But then Crowley out and dumps him and calls Castiel _boring_!"

 

Dean blinked again and stared at Gabriel. Trench coat? Trench coat was Gabriel's brother. No way. They looked nothing alike, and by the way, that Trench coat towered over Crowley. The dude had to be close to his height, and nowhere near Crowley's! "What was his name?" he managed to get out, looking over at Gabriel as the other man sighed in annoyance.

 

"Castiel. Pronounce it correctly or he'll kick your ass. You'll meet him tonight when he comes to pick me up. Don't worry," Gabriel said, reaching for the ceiling in a slow stretch before settling back down at his normal height.

 

"Right," Dean said, rolling his eyes. "So I'll just look for the random creepy dude. Sounds great."

 

Gabriel reached out and smacked him across the back of the head and Dean scowled at him. _Bastard_. He didn't deserve that. "What? Am I wrong?"

 

Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. "Unfortunately, with the way he stares at people sometimes..."

 

"He stares?" Dean asked, raising both of his eyebrows. "Seriously, Gabriel?"

 

Gabriel snorted. "He's sheltered and shy. He comes here to attempt to ‘Get Out’ every so often and gives me a ride home. I'm just hoping that Crowley leaves him the fuck alone after the other day."

 

"He'd probably get along really well with my brother, especially since they’re both nerds," Dean said, glancing over at Gabriel.

 

Gabriel hummed and shrugged. "You probably aren't wrong. Speaking of Sam, how's the kid doing? You still forking over every dime you've got to help him out?"

 

Dean scowled in Gabriel's direction and stood up, brushing off his pants. "I have to. He's my brother."

 

"You don't have to send him every single dollar you make, Dean," Gabriel pointed out. "He's an adult. Have him get a job so he starts to contributing at least a little bit."

 

"He doesn't have time for that. He's busy studying," Dean said, shrugging.

 

"Dean-"

 

"No," Dean snapped, whirling on Gabriel. "I'm not talking with you about this again. What Sam and I do is our own damn business, got it?"

 

Dean stood up and stalked out of the changing room. He could feel Gabriel staring at the back of his neck and rubbed at it, heading towards the stage. He needed to focus and make sure Sam got his rent on time. He couldn't afford to be late again.

 

Rolling his shoulders, Dean focused on the low thump of bass as it started to echo through the club. There, that was what he needed.

 

Stripping was something he was good at, great even, and he made a pretty decent earning stripping five days a week.

 

Nevermind that most of it went to Sam, because Sam needed it. And hell, he didn’t need much to live on. He had his car, his apartment and enough food to last him through the week. That was all he really needed.

 

Wasn’t it?

 

 

~!~!~

 

 

Dean made another circuit of the room and ignored how his butt got pinched another three times. There were some things that you just had to accept were going to happen as a stripper, and getting your ass pinched was one of them. Dean stopped at the bar and smiled at Benny, glad he was working tonight.

 

"Hey Dean, creepy guy just sat down at fifty-seven. Make sure you waltz around and look intimidating. I don't want him near the girls," Benny said, finishing a cocktail and putting it on Dean's tray.

 

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes. "You and I both know they can defend themselves way better than I ever could. Those stilettos are lethal weapons."

 

Benny grinned. "True enough, but just do it for me as a favor?"

 

Dean shrugged and grabbed the other two drinks on the bar and put them on his tray, bringing him to the other two men who were leering at him. He cringed and dropped off their drinks. Add another two ass pinches to his tally this evening.

 

Adam Lambert started to blare through the speakers and Dean exhaled, relaxing a little. Thank fuck. Gabriel would at least distract them, and his routines were always worth watching. Now he could head over to creepy guy and make sure he was harmless. If the guy just wanted to stare, there was no harm in it, but if he was planning anything else, well.

 

Dean grinned. He got there faster than the bouncers did sometimes. He rolled his shoulders and stopped in front of the table, blinking at the sight of the trench coat. _Oh_. "Uh..."

 

Bright blue eyes were suddenly locked with his and Dean swallowed hard, trying to make himself think. _Jesus_. Did the guy wear contacts or something?

 

"Hello. I would like a beer."

 

Dean shook himself a little bit and refocused on Trench coat. Shit, what the fuck was his name? Cas, Cas, Cas something. Dammit, of course he would forget.

 

"Yeah, sure thing, Cas," Dean drawled. Hopefully the guy didn't mind nicknames. "Have any preference to which one?"

 

Castiel blinked. "Cas?"

 

Dean grinned and cocked a hip. "Well, Cas isn't a brand of beer we carry, but I can try and see if I can-"

 

"No, my name. You know my name?"

 

Dean immediately dropped the act and raised up his hands at the caged look that immediately came over the other man's face. "Hey, hey, relax. I'm a friend of Gabriel's. He told me your name, but I can only remember about half of it."

 

Cas seemed to take a deep breath and nod and Dean relaxed a fraction. "Sorry. It's a habit. The whole accent and act."

 

"Your natural accent is far more pleasing," Castiel said, glancing towards the stage.

 

Dean looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes when Gabriel bent himself almost entirely backwards. "Flexible bastard," he grumbled. A snort of laughter made him turn and grin at Cas. "See, you agree!"

 

"I do," Castiel said. "I believe that even Gabriel would agree with your assessment."

 

Dean grinned and chuckled. "Yeah, I think you're right about that Cas, er. Shit, okay, help me out here."

 

"Castiel."

 

"Right. Casteel-"

 

"Castiel," he emphasized.

 

Dean smiled. Gabriel hadn't been kidding about the name thing. "Bet that got mispronounced by every single teacher you ever had."

 

Castiel smiled at him and Dean couldn't help staring. When he smiled, Dean could almost see why Crowley had been dating the guy. He cleared his throat. "Sorry. I think I'm going to stick with Cas, if that works with you?"

 

"It does. And yes, it is often mispronounced. My religious studies teacher did pronounce it correctly when I was in my junior year of college, but she was the only one," Castiel said.

 

"Religious studies?"

 

"Yes, my name, it is the name of an angel. Castiel, Angel of Thursday."

 

Dean looked over his shoulder at Gabriel as he slid down a pole slowly. "Gabriel, Castiel..."

 

Castiel smiled again. "Also including Michael, Lucifer and-"

 

Dean winced. "Who calls their kid Lucifer?"

 

"We call him Luke, though obviously that didn't prevent the teasing."

 

Dean nodded and pushed his fingers through his hair. "I've never been more glad that I have a nice easy name."

 

“Which is?”

 

“Oh! Dean,” he said, holding out a hand to shake Castiel’s. He smiled at Cas, who had a firm grip, and shook his hand before letting go. “I’ll go get you that beer now.”

 

“Yes,” Castiel said, nodding. “Thank you, Dean.”

 

Dean delivered the beer to Cas a few minutes later, letting Benny know the guy was pretty much harmless, despite being Gabriel’s brother.

 

Dean went to head backstage and change out of his boots. He certainly didn’t get the impression that Cas was boring.

 

Gabriel and Crowley were idiots.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

Dean pushed his fingers through his hair and took another deep breath, stretching out his leg. A spasm went through his thigh and he groaned, breathing hard through the pain. He needed to stretch it, or it was going to get even worse.

 

"Are you all right?"

 

Dean looked up and blinked at the sight of Castiel in the dressing room. He hadn't seen the guy in a couple of weeks. He grinned. "Hey Cas! Yeah, I'll be fine. Just sore after a few of the spins I did tonight."

 

"I see," Castiel said. "Then I shall not ask you to share a beer with me. I apologize for bothering you."

 

Dean blinked as Castiel turned to leave and stood up, cursing when his leg twinged and nearly sent him back to the damn floor. "Cas!"

 

Castiel turned around and raised an eyebrow at him and Dean managed a grin for him. "Hey, hey! I, uh, I'd love to share a beer with you, but I can't do it here."

 

Dean pushed his fingers through his hair and cursed when a shower of shimmer and glitter suddenly fell to the floor. "Right, let me grab a shower, since my shift is over and Gabriel's closing up tonight. He going to be okay without a ride?"

 

"I will need to come back for him," Castiel said, looking out towards the stage. "But he normally finishes around two thirty and it is only just past one now."

 

"That's my kind of thinking!" Dean said, reaching out and slapping Cas on the shoulder. He could just ignore the fact that he had a shift at the garage in the morning. He'd just borrow some more of Bobby's coffee and make sure he was good to go. "Lead the way!"

 

Castiel tugged on the lapel of his overcoat and led the way out from the backstage area and to the parking lot. "There is a bar a block away, we could perhaps go there?"

 

"Sounds great!" Dean said, rubbing his hands together as he buttoned up the rest of his flannel. It was starting to get cold out. He'd have to hit up Goodwill and try to find another jacket. His old one was completely destroyed after having worn it for several winters in a row.

 

Castiel led the way and Dean couldn't help shaking his head at the sight of the trench coat. It was almost winter, and here he was, walking around like wearing that was normal. "You're a strange guy, Cas."

 

"So many have told me," Castiel said, holding open the door to the bar. "Here."

 

Dean grinned widely at Cas. "Someone knows how to treat a lady right! Why thank you!" A snort from behind him told him that he'd hit the right note and had at least been able to make Cas laugh. "Damn, I can't remember the last time I just went out with a friend for a drink."

 

"A friend, of course," Castiel said.

 

Dean looked over his shoulder and smiled at Cas as he led the way to the bar. "You okay?"

 

Castiel nodded. "Of course. I simply do not have many...friends."

 

"Well, we'll have to work on fixing that for you! Starting with me!" Dean announced, grinning at Cas as he settled onto one of the bar stools. "Now, come on. Sit down, tell me all about your wild college years."

 

"I didn't have-"

 

"Everyone has at least one wild college story, Cas. Even my brother, who is king of the nerds, has a few stories up his sleeve," Dean said, nudging Castiel with his shoulder. "Besides, I didn't go to school, so I absolutely need to live vicariously through you."

 

Castiel stared at his beer and Dean thought that he was just going to pass up the opportunity regardless. He bumped Cas' shoulder again. "Come on. One wild story. I promise that I won't tell a soul."

 

Castiel considered this, and looked over at Dean. "There was this one instance, sophomore year...."

 

"Ha!" Dean crowed, grinning widely. "See, what did I tell you? Everyone has at least one story, I knew you'd have one. What happened?"

 

"Well, there was a group of young men who liked to pick on others," Castiel began. "And you must understand, growing up with Gabriel-"

 

"Ohhhh, he must have pranked you to within an inch of your life," Dean said, wincing in sympathy.

 

Castiel nodded. "Yes, he did. However, I found this knowledge came in handy when I wished to, ah, give those men a taste of their own medicine."

 

Dean gasped, unable to keep from grinning. " _No_!"

 

"Yes," Castiel admitted. "Not only did I arrange the materials to have their shower heads explode..."

 

Dean took a sip of his beer and leaned closer. "Not only? Cas, you devious bastard, what else did you do to them?"

 

Castiel cleared his throat. "I may have procured a video of them singing ‘Party in the USA,’ loudly, while wearing no clothing and anonymously posted it to the student union website."

 

Dean blinked, then burst out laughing, holding onto the side of the bar, glad that he had put his beer down. "You devious bastard!"

 

"I had several more videos, far more incriminating, that I threatened to expose, if their behavior continued. Suffice to say, it ceased."

 

"Did anyone figure out it was you?" Dean asked, trying to catch his breath after laughing so hard it hurt.

 

“There were several who suspected, yes. However they had no way to prove that I was responsible,” Castiel said, taking another sip of his beer.

 

Dean shook his head and grinned at Cas. "You're fucking brilliant, man," he said, finishing off his beer in a few quick gulps before putting it down on the counter. How the fuck did Crowley and Gabriel think that Cas was boring? Gabriel, especially, appreciated that type of prank.

 

"I'd like to know more about you, Dean," Cas said, smiling at him. "Why did you start stripping?"

 

Most of the time he got asked that question, it was accompanied by a very skeevy smirk and a look that made him feel dirty. However, Cas looked simply curious and like he would willingly accept the answer, no matter what it was. Dean smiled back and shrugged.

 

"Same reason I think most people end up in it that didn't want to. It pays the bills and it pays them damn well. I've got a little brother I'm helping to put through school, and working full time at a mechanic shop didn't really cut it," Dean said, fiddling with his now-empty bottle.

 

Castiel hummed. "Did you enjoy being a mechanic?"

 

"Still do! I work there two days a week, on my off days from the club. Can't really make me happier than by giving me a classic car that I can bury my hands into and just take apart and put back together," Dean said. "I've got a beautiful baby, a sixty-seven Impala. She's gorgeous, let me tell you."

 

"My brother has a Buick Special, I believe you've seen it? He's mentioned that you wanted to take it for a drive," Castiel said, studying Dean as he fidgeted and gave a shy grin.

 

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, Gabriel has a gorgeous car, and I'd love to take it for a drive. But I want to make sure the thing comes back in one piece, so it's better if I just sit back and admire."

 

Castiel frowned and tilted his head. "You are afraid that you would damage Gabriel's car?"

 

"It's not a fear thing as much as it is an acceptance of the inevitable," Dean said, shrugging. "I have bad luck around cars that aren't baby, it's just a fact. So I make sure they run and don't bother driving them."

 

"I am sure you would be perfectly fine in Gabriel's car," Castiel said, taking another sip of his beer. "But I understand wanting to be careful with something precious." Dean gave him a quick grin at his willingness to drop the topic and Castiel looked around the bar. "Why do you not go out for drinks often? I find it hard to believe that people do not, ah, make attempts to take you out."

 

Dean laughed and waved for a second beer. "Believe it or not Cas, I don't pick up guys at the strip club. You're the only exception to that rule thus far in my years stripping."

 

Castiel gave a pleased smile at that and nodded. "That is good to hear."

 

"Anyone ever tell you that you and Gabriel are nothing alike?" Dean asked.

 

Castiel laughed. "Often! Even Gabriel himself. I am a bit of a black sheep among the family, I'm afraid. No high-powered career like my oldest brothers, and no desire to leave the family completely behind to do my own thing like Gabriel."

 

"Speaking of careers, you know I strip and I'm a mechanic, but what do you do?" Dean asked, running his eyes down the tan trench coat again. Was Castiel hiding a back brace or injury or something of the sort? He would find that hard to believe, but it would explain the outfit.

 

"I work for an accounting department in an investment firm. A very typical, boring job, spent doing things with numbers all day long. Gabriel once came to work with me and was asleep within minutes," Castiel said.

 

Dean laughed, settling back into his chair to sip at his second bear. "I’m not surprised at all. It is fucking impossible to keep Gabriel's attention sometimes."

 

Castiel nodded in agreement. "Gabriel has to constantly be engaged with whatever he is doing, whether that is work, his relationships, or his interests. Once he is bored, he will leave it behind afterward."

 

Dean rolled his eyes. "So high maintenance. Give me a beer, Netflix a few nights a week and an active sex life and that'll be the perfect relationship," he said, turning so he could look at Cas to get an agreement out of him before he stilled. Cas was staring at him, his eyes looking far closer than they had been before, gone big and blue. Dean felt his stomach turn over and he cleared his throat. "Cas?"

 

Just like that, the moment was over and Castiel was settling back into his seat again, taking another long drag of his beer. Dean was left wondering what the fuck had just happened, because that had been weird. Really weird. "You okay?"

 

"Of course, Dean. Apologies. I was lost in thought." He looked down at his watch and waved for the waiter. They would need to return to the club in the near future so he could pick up Gabriel and bring him home for the evening.

 

"No problem, Cas. Do you have to go get Gabriel?"

 

"Yes," Cas admitted, sighing a little. "This was nice, Dean. I have greatly enjoyed your company. Thank you for spending time with me, I appreciate it."

 

Dean chuckled and reached out to ruffle Cas' hair. "You don't need to sound so formal. We're just having a couple of beers. Hell, if you want, we can probably do it again tomorrow night. Gabriel's working late and I'm getting off before him."

 

Castiel hesitated. "I would like that very much, Dean."

 

"Well, then it's settled!" Dean said, tossing a little money at the bartender before gulping down the last of his beer. "Gotta make sure you keep your friend happy, after all." Cas only gave him a serious nod, staring at him again.

 

"Of course, Dean. I will see you tomorrow evening at the same time?"

 

"Yeah! Definitely!" Dean said. He grinned and stood up, dusting off his jeans and followed him back to the club, slipping in through the employee entrance. Gabriel was waiting for him, and he raised an eyebrow when the two of them walked in together.

 

"Have a good date, fellas?"

 

"Not a date, Gabriel, and stop picking on your little brother!" Dean said, heading towards his dressing room.

 

Gabriel laughed. "Dean, you're a big brother. You know damn well it's in the definition!"

 

Dean laughed and turned to wave at Cas. "Don't be afraid to punch him if he gets too uppity!"

 

"I heard that!" Gabriel snapped, raising an eyebrow when Cas stared, obviously, at Dean's ass as he turned the corner towards his room. "Have fun on your little date there, bro?"

 

"It wasn't a date," Castiel protested, still staring at where Dean had turned the corner. "He would like to be my friend, Gabriel. I don't know how to be friends."

 

Gabriel snorted and followed Cas towards his car. "You got that right. But friends is definitely easier than a relationship. Baby steps."

 

Castiel opened the door to the car and slid into the front seat, waiting for Gabriel to throw his bag in the back and then settle into the passenger seat. "He misunderstood. I asked him to get a drink with me with...intentions. Do you think he purposefully misunderstood?"

 

Gabriel laughed and leaned back into the seat. "Cas, if you didn't flat out tell Dean that you were taking him on a date, I'm not surprised he thought you wanted to go as friends."

 

"What is the difference between asking someone out on a date and asking someone who is a friend to get a drink with you?" Castiel asked, sighing again in frustration. Dean had noticed his admiration and had turned his face away, but then had continued on as though it had never happened. It was a response he was not familiar with.

 

"You be friends first, get some ground made up with the boy. Dean has nothing even remotely resembling free time, and his freeloading little brother-"

 

"His brother is in college," Castiel interrupted.

 

"That doesn't mean he can't get a part time job! Or that he can't look at trying to pay some of the expenses!" Gabriel snapped. "Dean is breaking his back trying to provide for this kid."

 

Castiel hummed and stared at Gabriel. "I believe that is Dean's decision to make, and if-"

 

"It's a stupid decision! Dean is going to end up out on the street when he can't strip any longer and then-"

 

"Enough, Gabriel," Castiel said, turning into their driveway. "Dean is trying to provide for his little brother, which is admirable. And were we in a similar situation-"

 

Gabriel scowled. "If we were in a similar situation, I would make you get a damn part time job and you would deal with it."

 

Castiel smiled. That was true. Gabriel would not allow him to contribute nothing. "Perhaps then, during the summer, Dean can suggest it to his brother again."

 

Gabriel climbed out of the car and rolled his eyes. "Whatever. One beer together and you two are bosom buddies. I see how it is."

 

Castiel tilted his head and stared at Gabriel's back. He wrinkled his nose. He did dislike comparisons like that. Neither he, nor Dean had bosoms.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

"Cas!"

 

Dean ducked past another crowd of women who were busy doing shots and made his way over to the secluded table. He was covered in a fine film of golden glitter and sweat. The club was fucking packed tonight, but somehow Castiel had managed to secure a private table.

 

"How are you, Dean?" Castiel asked, smiling at the sight of the other man. Dean's skin looked as though it were glowing golden, the glitter only enhancing the look of him. It was very distracting.

 

"Fucking packed. I've got at least eight tables I need to swing by and I still have another two songs to do tonight, since Crowley has us on rotation to do three each, which, let me tell you, is fucking _exhausting_ , and thank god I am off tomorrow," Dean ranted, leaning against the side of the booth, pushing a hand through his hair, ruffling it.

 

Castiel smiled at Dean. "Will you still have to work at the garage or at the Roadhouse?"

 

Dean gave a bright grin. "Nope! I get a true day off, and I only get those once a month, and let me tell you, I am going to _savor_ this. I am going to sleep as late as I want, wear nothing but sweatpants all day..."

 

"It sounds like an ideal weekend," Castiel agreed, taking a drink of his water. "You danced well, earlier."

 

Dean laughed and stretched. "I definitely made bank, and with two more, this might be one of the hottest nights I've had this year. Which'll be good, since I need a new jacket and Baby is gonna need winter tires and I don't want to think about how much that is going to cost."

 

"I do not recognize the song that you dance to, who sings it?" Castiel asked.

 

"Rihanna?" Dean said, blinking at Cas. "You don't know who Rihanna is and you have a brother who is a stripper?"

 

Castiel chuckled and finished off the last of his water. "I will admit that my tastes in music do not often coincide with what Gabriel would consider proper routine music."

 

"Okay, but tell me you've at least heard of AC/DC? Warrant? I'll be dancing to ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ and ‘Cherry Pie’ later," he said, smirking. "I'm going to empty the wallet of everyone in here."

 

Castiel shook his head. "I am not familiar with either of those bands. I prefer classical and instrumental pieces. They are good for keeping my mind occupied while I work."

 

Dean stared. "Do you know who Led Zeppelin is? What about-"

 

Castiel smiled at Dean and interrupted him. "It is likely that the answer will be no, Dean."

 

Dean huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well that's just un-American. You'll have to come over tomorrow so I can introduce you to some proper music."

 

"You, wish for me to come over?" Castiel asked, tilting his head. "On your day off? I wouldn't want to take up your precious time-"

 

"Trust me, the time is going to be well-spent teaching you an appreciation for the classics," Dean said, reaching out to poke Castiel in the arm. "Get your phone out," he ordered.

 

Castiel did as he was asked and raised an eyebrow at Dean.

 

"All right, you're going to take down this number. Six, zero, three. Eight, six, seven. Five, three, zero, nine."

 

Castiel repeated the number back and blinked in surprise as Dean grinned at him, bright and wide. "Is this your number, Dean?"

 

"Yup! You're going to text me, so I have yours, then I'll send you my address. Come over sometime after two pm and we'll get your music education started," Dean said, looking over his shoulder at the crowd. "I've got to head back to work, but, thanks for coming in, Cas!"

 

Dean gave Cas a wave and dove back into the sea of bodies pressing against him. How in the hell had Cas never heard of Led Zeppelin? He'd have to start making a list of what albums to introduce Cas to first! He'd need at least a couple of weekends to teach him everything that there was to know.

 

 

 

~!~!~

 

 

 

 

Several hours later, Castiel felt his phone vibrate and saw that it was a message from Dean. He hid the phone from his brother and opened it. Inside was an address and an order to bring beer. Dean would need it in order to teach him properly.

 

Castiel squinted at the phone, but texted back an affirmative and then added a smiley face.

 

A moment later his phone lit up, a call from Dean coming in. Castiel smiled and opened it, ignoring the surprised look from Gabriel as they walked out of the club. "Hello, Dean."

 

"Emoticons, Cas, really? What are you? Twelve?"

 

Castiel pulled the phone away from his ear and frowned at it. "I like them," he said. Dean laughed, but the sound wasn't cruel. It was amused, fond, even.

 

"That doesn't surprise me, and I have no idea why," Dean said, tossing the rest of his stuff into a bag. "Alright, so you've got my address, right?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Good. Don't call me before two pm, and don't show up without beer. If you feel like staying the evening and drinking something stronger, a bottle of whiskey would never go amiss," Dean said, zipping up his bag.

 

Castiel smiled. "I shall bring both and see you in the afternoon, Dean."

 

Dean laughed. "Alright, sounds good!"

 

"Have a good night, Dean," Castiel said, smiling when Dean echoed the sentiment and then disconnected the call.

 

“Hot date?” Gabriel asked.

 

“No,” Castiel said, staring at his phone. “Dean is going to teach me about music. He was very concerned when he realized I did not know of certain bands.”

 

Gabriel snorted and shook his head. “You’ve got it bad for pretty boy, don’t you?”

 

Castiel sent Dean another smiley face and put his phone back into his pocket. “No. We are friends.”

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Friends. Right. You don’t see the look on your face when pretty boy texts you.”

 

 

 

 

~!~!~

 

 

 

Castiel stopped by the liquor store on his way to Dean's apartment. It was two thirty, and Dean was awake, excited, and apparently more than ready to begin his musical education. He picked up the beer Dean preferred based on the texts that they had just exchanged and then moved over to the wall that held the whiskey.

 

There was a wide variety, and Dean had said nothing about his preferences. Castiel studied the wall and then grabbed two bottles, one priced in the mid-range, then the most expensive. Gabriel often spent more than he should, because 'the more expensive ones tasted better', and while that wasn't his experience, Dean would likely be pleased with his selection.

 

Castiel made his way to the apartment and parked next to the Impala in the garage, admiring the car for a long moment. She was rather like Dean.

 

He knocked on the door of Dean's apartment and looked around, holding his bags carefully. He hadn't brought anything resembling food. Should he have? Castiel squinted and hoped that Dean would not mind. He could go get food in the event that they required it.

 

Dean yanked the door open and grinned at Cas. "About time you got over here, Mister punctual!"

 

Castiel blinked and tilted his head. "Mister punctual?"

 

"You texted me right at two pm, just like I told you to," Dean said, taking one of the bags away from Castiel and walking into the kitchen. "Shut the door and lock it behind you, Cas, and then follow me!"

 

Castiel did as he was asked, locking the door easily, before following Dean. Dean had already removed the first bottle of whiskey, and had a pleased grin on his face. Excellent, he had made an appropriate choice for their drinking this evening.

 

Dean's face immediately fell when he pulled out the second bottle though and Castiel noticed it was the more expensive of the two. He bit down on his lip and put the beer on the counter next to the bottles. "Do you not like that type? I am certain that Gabriel will be willing to take it if you do not-"

 

"Cas, this is a two hundred dollar bottle of whiskey," Dean said, looking over at him.

 

"Yes," Castiel agreed, looking at the bottle. "It was the most expensive offering that they had, and as I did not know what to buy, it seemed like an appropriate selection."

 

Dean shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face. "Cas, this isn't drinking whiskey, this is like, fancy, sipping whiskey."

 

Castiel looked at the bottle. "Well, it shall be our drinking whiskey tonight, then you can tell me which one to get next time."

 

Dean gave a hoarse laugh. "Oh god, I think I've tried whiskey like this once in my life before. I'm going to end up so drunk tonight."

 

"I believe that was the point in me buying the alcohol this evening?" Castiel asked, tilting his head.

 

"Right," Dean said, clearing his throat as he grabbed one of the beers. "First, let's get your musical education started. We'll start slow, and with one of my favorite bands. AC/DC. I dance to one of their songs."

 

Castiel blinked and considered that information for a moment. "Is that the song about shaking all night long?"

 

Dean laughed and went over to the stereo. "Yes, that's the one. It's called 'You Shook Me All Night Long', and it's all about sex. Very appropriate."

 

Castiel chuckled and took a beer, following Dean. "I suppose that would be very accurate."

 

Dean snorted. "You got that right. ‘Cherry Pie’ and ‘Shut Up and Drive’ are right around the same thing," he said, clearing his throat and flicking a few more buttons on the stereo. "Now, I'll take you driving sometime, but this is one of my favorites to just sit back, with a nice long highway, no traffic, and drive."

 

Castiel copied Dean and sat down on the couch, closing his eyes to listen to the music. He smiled. He could see why someone like Dean would enjoy music like this, the beat making him tap his fingers against the beer bottle.

 

"Catchy, isn't it?" Dean asked, glancing over at Cas with a grin. "One of those things that just burrows into your mind and you find yourself humming it when you aren't thinking about it. I do that with Metallica all the time."

 

"Metallica?" Castiel asked, opening his eyes to look over at Dean.

 

Dean laughed. "Don't worry, we'll work up to them. I've got an idea for how to get you into them. You said you like instrumental and classics, right?"

 

"Yes, those are my preferences," Castiel said.

 

"Good, okay, then I know exactly how I am going to get you into them. They have an album, and videos, of when they played with a full orchestra, and the album is just absolutely amazing," Dean said, taking a long sip of his beer.

 

Castiel sat up in surprise. "They played with a full orchestra?"

 

Dean grinned. "Yup, and I don't think I've ever heard anything quite as awesome as a band like Metallica playing in front of an orchestra. We'll get there, don't worry."

 

"I have a feeling that you may require more than one weekend to teach me everything that you know about music, Dean," Castiel said, glancing towards the collection of tapes and CDs beside the stereo.

 

"Definitely," Dean agreed. "But I can teach you the basics this evening, and the next time that I have a day off, I can drag you over again, if you're free, and we'll get you caught up in no time."

 

Castiel settled back into the couch and took a sip of his beer and wrinkled his nose a bit. He had never understood the love and appreciation that some people had for beer.

 

"Not a beer drinker?" Dean asked, chuckling at the look on Cas' face.

 

"No, not particularly. However, it is what most people drink, and I dislike answering questions around why I do not like it and what alternatives I have tried," Castiel said. He noticed that the song was nearing to a close and Dean was already picking up the remote.

 

"Okay, so Back in Black was your introduction to Rock music, now we're going to go to one of my favorites by AC/DC, other than the one I dance to," Dean said, flipping through the tracks on the CD.

 

"What's it titled?" Cas asked, watching Dean hit play and sit back with a grin. True to his promise, Dean was wearing nothing more than a pair of sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt and it was easy to see some of the definition in his muscles, despite his loose clothing.

 

Castiel forced his eyes back to Dean's face and smiled at him a little more widely. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

 

"It's called ‘Thunderstruck.’ Best opening song ever, and trust me, if one of the girls didn't already dance to this, I would. I love this song," Dean said, unable to keep from grinning.

 

The song opened up and Castiel immediately sat up, staring at the stereo. He slammed his eyes shut and lost himself in the sounds of the music. "This is..."

 

"I know," Dean whispered, watching Castiel be enthralled by the music. "Just wait..."

 

Castiel's eyes slammed open as the music started in earnest, wonder on his face. "It sounds very similar to the last song."

 

Dean laughed and took another long sip of his beer. "Yeah, there's a lot of the AC/DC songs that sound very similar to each other. This one though..."

 

"This one is _powerful_ ," Castiel whispered, letting his eyes fall shut again as he listened to the song.

 

Dean couldn't help smiling at the way that Cas slowly swayed with the music and tapped his fingers against the bottle in his hands. He knew when someone had been bit by a music bug, and Castiel was carrying all the normal signs of someone who was.

 

"Like it?" Dean asked, sipping his beer. Castiel answered him with a nod and just continued to slowly sway to the music, the corners of his lips turning up in a grin.

 

"I've never heard a rock song like this before," Castiel said, keeping his voice quiet so he didn't interrupt the music in the background.

 

Dean just grinned as he finished off his beer and went over to the CD rack to pick out a few more. He had several hours and plenty of bands that he was going to introduce Cas to, and at least two more that were going to require an internet connection, since he didn't have their albums or cassettes handy.

 

He hummed and swayed and when the song was done, he hit the pause button and watched Cas' eyes flutter open before looking at him. Dean winked at the almost dazed-look in those blue eyes. "Man, I am going to blow your mind."

 

Castiel didn't let himself look at the tantalizing strip of skin that had been exposed as Dean's pants had ridden down. Dean already had 'blown his mind' with his willingness to accept a complete stranger into his home and then teach him about music he had never been able to understand. "I have no doubt that you will."

 

"I don't even know where to start next, but I'm going to need to go grab my computer so I can show you what some of these guys look like in person, because while they are awesome to listen to, it's got nothing on watching them in person," Dean enthused, grabbing a few more discs before opening the CD player and pushing them in.

 

Castiel chuckled and settled back on the couch. "I believe that you are going to take over my weekends, aren't you?"

 

"Yes, I am," Dean said, without bothering to look around. "So just go ahead and accept it."

 

"You are a very strange person, Dean."

 

"Says the guy hanging out in the room of a stripper on his day off," Dean shot back, returning to the couch.

 

Castiel grinned. "Well, one could say that I am used to that, considering that Gabriel is my brother and he has been stripping for the past several years."

 

Dean opened his mouth and then snapped it shut before bursting into laughter. "Point, Cas. I've got nothing to say to that. Your brother is..."

 

"A pain in the ass?" Castiel offered, taking another, longer sip of his beer. "I am quite aware, I assure you."

 

Dean laughed again and held up the remote to the stereo. "All right, next lesson. If you liked AC/DC? You're probably going to like this."

 

Castiel smiled and let his eyes trail along Dean's arm until he was looking at the stereo again. If this was the only way that he would end up close to Dean, then he was more than happy to accept it. It was far more than he had ever expected.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

Castiel went home in the early hours of the morning, his mind spinning with names of bands that Dean had demanded he look up and listen to before the next time they could meet up for a day of listening to music together.

 

"You should see the look on your face," Gabriel called from the couch. "You look positively smitten, Cas."

 

Castiel gave Gabriel a prim look and held the piece of paper Dean had given him with band names and song names closer to his chest. "I am happy to have made a friend, Gabriel. You are always telling me that I need to go out and do so."

 

Gabriel snickered and sat up. "Yeah, but-"

 

"No, no buts, Gabriel," Castiel interrupted. "I have made a friend, and maybe it is a co-worker of yours, but Dean and I talked about music for several hours and he didn't laugh at me when I didn't know who certain bands are."

 

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "So what you're telling me is that he wants to bone you just as much as you want him?"

 

Castiel rolled his eyes and stalked to his room, shutting the door behind him. He leaned back against the door and took a deep breath. He could see Dean, smiling and laughing at him, punching him in the arm, teasing him. For hours, and they had not been able to stop talking.

 

Dean had shied away from some topics, including his brother, but that was only natural considering that this had been the first time that they had spoken. But then there were moments, such as when Dean bent over to put new CDs into the player that Castiel could not look away from him.

 

He had never wanted someone as much as he wanted Dean. But Dean only saw him as a friend, and that is more than someone like Dean had ever offered him before.

 

He pulled the list away from his chest and looked at it. There were a number of bands, and then a few Dean had crossed out when he had accused himself of getting too enthusiastic. Castiel smiled and made certain that he was going to listen to those bands as well. He would not disappoint Dean.

 

"Cas and Dean, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love-"

 

"Gabriel!" Castiel snapped, looking at the door behind him. "Dean certainly does not see me in that fashion, and I would like you to cease implying as much!"

 

"But you see him in that fashion, and frankly, that's all that matters!" Gabriel said, cackling as he headed back to the living room.

 

Castiel closed his eyes and leaned back against the door again, in case Gabriel decided to try to open it and took a deep breath. Even if Dean never did see him like that, it would be enough to have Dean be his friend, and to wish to spend time with him.

 

He would simply need to keep his desires to himself and there would be no issues. Dean would never suspect a thing and they could continue their friendship.

 

 

 

~!~!~

 

 

 

That Thursday, as Castiel went to the club to pick up Gabriel, he stopped in to see Dean and waited for him in his dressing room. It seemed as good a time as any to ask questions about one of Dean’s favorite bands, and to better understand the variety of their music.

 

"Cassie!"

 

Castiel immediately looked up and felt his stomach drop. "Crowley, how, what are you doing here?"

 

"Dean is one of my employees and I came to talk to him about his next routine," Crowley said, waving a hand as he smirked and stalked closer. "I might actually ask what you are doing here, since Gabriel is off for the remainder of the evening."

 

Castiel cleared his throat and straightened his back. "I believe that my actions are no longer any of your concern, Crowley."

 

"Ohhhh, someone taught you to have a backbone," Crowley said with a laugh. "Surprise, surprise," he said, stepping closer. "I have missed you, Cassie. I should never have-"

 

"Never have what, Crowley?" Castiel asked, tightening his hand into a fist in his pocket, staring at the man as he walked closer.

 

"Whoa! What's with the party in here!" Dean called, stepping into the room.

 

Crowley turned away from Cas and gave Dean a slow smile. "You did an excellent job this evening, Dean," he said.

 

Dean shrugged. "The bachelorette party made it easy. They had plenty of money and they were willing to throw it around."

 

Crowley nodded. "Exactly so. They wanted to know if you were available for a more...private party. Specifically, their bridal shower happening in a few weeks."

 

Dean stiffened and glanced towards Cas. He cleared his throat and walked towards the back of the room, picking up a towel so he could wipe off his face. "How much did they say that they were going to offer for the private party?"

 

"Two grand for four hours," Crowley said, looking at his nails. "I told them that I would relay the message to you. Here is the contact information you'll need." He put the card down on the table and raised an eyebrow at Dean.

 

Dean looked over his shoulder and cleared his throat. "Thanks, Crowley."

 

Castiel watched as Crowley left the room and looked at Dean. His shoulders were still stiff. "I'm sorry to have bothered you, Dean. I had wanted to-"

 

"No, no," Dean said, taking another deep breath, trying to relax. "Just, you didn't need to see that."

 

"See what?" Castiel offered, giving Dean a smile. "You dance quite well, Dean. I am not surprised that this women would wish to hire you for a private party."

 

Dean snorted and grinned at Cas. "You make me feel remarkably good about the fact that I strip for a living."

 

Castiel shrugged and smiled at Dean. "It helps to have a brother who has a similar profession. You make excellent money, and you have your boundaries as anyone does in another job. Why should I think anything else of you?"

 

Dean blinked and stared at Cas. "You...you think that?"

 

"Of course," Castiel said, staring at Dean. "I have just told you as much."

 

Dean laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I mean, I get that much. But just, you make it sound like it's nothing to be ashamed of."

 

"It isn't," Castiel said. "Why should it be?"

 

"I do take my clothes off for a living," Dean shot back, laughing as he toweled off his chest.

 

"As do bodybuilders, beauty pageant queens, models and a myriad of other professions. Your point?"

 

Dean blinked and burst out laughing, sinking into one of the chairs. "You're comparing stripping to a model, Cas?"

 

"A dancer would perhaps be more technically accurate," Castiel allowed, his lips twitching into a smile. "However, the comparison stands. Just because you remove your clothing while you dance does not make the act degrading."

 

Dean reached out and wrapped an arm around Cas and gave him a squeeze. "I am damn glad you came to visit tonight. How are you Cas?"

 

Castiel leaned into the touch from Dean. "I am doing very well. I had hoped to have a chance to see you this weekend, but I believe that you will be working."

 

Dean tapped a finger on his chin. "Yeah, I don't think I'll have time this weekend, but I can probably go out for a beer on Monday if you want to before Gabriel gets off of work?"

 

Castiel nodded and pulled out his small list of questions. "Yes, that would be excellent, Dean."

 

"What's that?" Dean asked, leaning over Cas' shoulder to look at the paper. "Oh!"

 

"It's-" Castiel started, then blinked when Dean tugged the paper away from him and studied it. "I had thought to begin a list of questions, since you were not there to answer the questions while I listened to the bands that you suggested."

 

Dean laughed in delight and read through the questions. "Cas, this is fantastic! And yes, ‘JUMP’ is absolutely the strangest song that Van Halen ever did, and no, you are not the only one that has that opinion."

 

Castiel gave a pleased smile. "I am not the only one who feels the way about that song?"

 

Dean made a face. "There's some times I like it, because they took a risk and tried to do something else, but then there's other times where I just wonder what the fuck they were doing," he said, skimming the rest of the list. "Ha!"

 

"Which question?" Castiel asked, watching as Dean sank into the chair again.

 

"Mötley Crüe, yeah, they're definitely a question all in their own right, without a doubt," Dean said, rubbing his cheek as he grinned.

 

Castiel nodded. "They were in the suggested videos section of YouTube as I watched some of the other songs that you had recommended, and when I watched one of them, it was..."

 

"Jarring?" Dean suggested, grinning bright and wide.

 

"An apt description, yes."

 

Dean laughed. “Yeah, Mötley Crüe definitely should come with a bit of a disclaimer. We’ll get to them eventually, but did you check out Apocalyptica like I told you to?”

 

“Yes!” Castiel said enthusiastically. “I didn’t realize that there were bands out there that did covers of Rock and Metal music as classical interpretations.”

 

“Oh man, I gotta remember to give you some links to Vitamin String Quartet. They take all sorts of modern songs, pop, rock, funk, metal, rap, everything, and translate it into a string quartet song,” Dean said, dropping the towel down on the floor and kicking it towards the door.

 

Castiel's eyes widened and he stared at Dean. "They've interpreted that sort of music?"

 

"Oh yeah, there's tons of bands that do it now. But there's not many that do it as well as they do. There's a couple more," Dean said and grinned at Cas. "I think we might have found your new favorite genre."

 

Castiel nodded and took the paper with the list of questions back. "I am sure that I will have many more for you the next time that we are able to hang out together."

 

Dean laughed. "I hope that you don't save all of them for the next time we hang out together, I like you asking me questions like this now too."

 

"Don't worry," Castiel said, stepping closer to Dean. "I am sure that I will have several more for you on Monday."

 

"You'd better," Dean said, holding his finger out towards Castiel. "Or I will be very disappointed." He poked the finger into Cas' chest.

 

Castiel sucked in a slow breath and stared at Dean. They were standing much closer together than they normally did and like this, he could see the freckles that dusted Dean's cheeks and just how green his eyes were. "I would not want to disappoint you, Dean, so I will make sure that I have plenty for you."

 

"Good!" Dean said, giving Castiel a quick punch in the arm. "Alright, I gotta get back out there, but thank you for coming to see me, Cas!"

 

"Of course, Dean," Castiel said, nodding at him. He cleared his throat. "I shall endeavor to make sure that I do so more in the future."

 

Dean grinned and paused in the doorway. "Cas, was Crowley, uh, bothering you?"

 

Castiel straightened a little and shook his head. "I understand that you work for him, but I don't have any desire to see him again if I can avoid it."

 

"Totally get it," Dean said, giving Cas a wink. "I'll make sure to give you a key next time, so you can slip in here, even when the door is shut."

 

"That would be very appreciated, Dean," Castiel said.

 

"You got it," Dean promised, saluting Cas before he sauntered down the hall.

 

Castiel watched him go and forced himself into movement, walking towards Gabriel's dressing room, where his brother was waiting for him.

 

Gabriel gave him a knowing look. "Hanging out with Dean again?"

 

"I wished to see him, to see if he would like to potentially 'hang out' again this weekend," Castiel said, reaching out to take Gabriel's bag from him to swing it over his own shoulder. "I also saw Crowley."

 

Gabriel scowled. "Did the bastard keep his slimy hands off of you?"

 

Castiel chuckled. "Gabriel, I am more than capable of defending myself against Crowley, I assure you. And regardless, Dean was there and was able to distract him."

 

"Well, at least Dean doesn't mind playing your white knight when he needs to," Gabriel said, nodding in satisfaction. "Probably thinks you are a regular princess to be rescued."

 

"I am not a princess," Castiel protested, glaring at Gabriel. "Do not call me one."

 

"Or what?" Gabriel teased, leading the way to the car. "Should I tell Dean about your little crush on him Cas? I bet he'd get a kick out of it."

 

"If you do," Castiel said, putting Gabriel's bag into the back of the car. "You will find yourself without a ride for the next month and can find your own way home."

 

Gabriel laughed and slid into the driver's seat. "Oh, you have it bad. Threatening me already. Goodness, Cas, maybe I should go ahead and tell Dean."

 

Castiel ignored Gabriel and stared out the window. He slipped a hand into the pocket of his trench coat and traced his fingertips over the note that he had filled with questions for Dean. He would have more by Monday, he was certain.

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Dean had been quiet. He'd smiled brightly enough when Castiel had picked him up and they had walked shoulder to shoulder towards the bar where they had shared their first drink. Dean was clearly very deep in thought and Castiel did not want to intrude on his thoughts.

 

He held the door open for Dean and followed him into the bar, sitting down beside him. "Dean?"

 

"Huh?" Dean asked, staring at Cas. He forced another smile to his face. "I'm sorry, I'm distracted as all hell, aren't I?"

 

"You do seem lost in thought, and I will allow you to return to your thoughts, but I figured you would want a drink beforehand," Castiel said, gesturing to the bartender.

 

Dean grinned. "Yeah, a beer would be great," he said, tightening his hands in the jacket around his shoulders.

 

"Dean?" Castiel asked, when the beers had arrived and Dean had not touched his. His green eyes looked very dark and distant. Something was troubling Dean.

 

Dean shook himself and tried to focus on Cas, giving him another grin. "Sorry, I'm shit company tonight, aren't I?"

 

Castiel shook his head. "Your company is appreciated, Dean. Would you like me to leave you be though? I'm not certain that you want my company."

 

"Nah," Dean said, clearing his throat as he picked up his beer and swallowed down several gulps. "It's probably a good thing you're here, you'll keep me from doing something that I would regret."

 

"Are you all right?" Castiel asked. "I will listen to whatever it is, Dean."

 

Dean hummed and stared at the bottle in front of him. "I don't want to throw my problems at you, I'm sure you've got enough of them."

 

Castiel reached out and touched Dean's arm, giving it a slow squeeze. "Dean, you are my friend. I would like to listen to your problems, no matter what they are."

 

Dean chuckled and stared up at the ceiling. "Anyone tell you that you are a weird dude, Cas?"

 

"As I mentioned when we first met, yes, often. I believe that has nothing to do with the question I asked you though, Dean," Castiel said, staring at Dean, who immediately looked away from him.

 

Dean sighed and took another sip of his beer. “I’m _tired_ , Cas. The bad kind of tired. Gabriel didn’t help, talking about the bakery that he’s planning to open. Sam’s got two more years of school I need to help him through, and he’s coming home next week, and...I’m fucking _tired_.”

 

Castiel tilted his head and stared at Dean. Dean finished off the rest of his beer in several quick gulps and put the bottle back down at the bar. He waited until Dean turned to look at him and cleared his throat. “You work very hard to make sure that your brother doesn’t have to, Dean.”

 

Dean barked out a hoarse laugh. “Yeah. I suppose that’s definitely true. But I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. One day off a month? Who does that, Cas?”

 

“You,” Castiel said, watching Dean give him a quick smile before sobering again. “Dean, I am in no position to tell someone how to live their life, or what to do. But I would like you to entertain something for me.”

 

Dean focused on Cas again and frowned. “Okay?”

 

“If you to were to quit working for Crowley-” He held up his hand to prevent the immediate protest from Dean. “If you were to quit working for him, and were instead to work full-time at the garage, and perhaps a weekend shift or two at The Roadhouse, would you have enough to cover your own living expenses?”

 

“Yeah, but-”

 

“Dean, we’re merely entertaining a scenario,” Castiel interrupted, taking a sip of his beer. “Would you?”

 

Dean shrugged. “Things might get a little tight, but yeah, I could do that. But Sam-”

 

Castiel reached out and squeezed Dean’s arm. “Speaking as a younger brother who has an older brother who does a great deal to try and take care of me, Sam will never be able to fully articulate his thanks for what you have done for him, Dean. But he would also not wish for you to burn yourself out, taking care of him.”

 

Dean gave a harsh laugh and waved at the bartender again. He needed another beer. “I’ve been taking care of him ever since I can remember Cas, I’m not sure I don’t know how to _not_ do it.”

 

“I’m not suggesting you stop, Dean,” Castiel said.

 

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes, taking the second beer from the bartender. “Then what are you suggesting, Cas?”

 

"That you and Sam have a conversation," Castiel said.

 

Dean scoffed. "I can't stand chick flick moments. We're dangerously close to having one as it is."

 

Castiel hummed and sipped his beer. "I understand that sentiment, not being a fan of them myself, as well as Gabriel. However, once we had the singular conversation, tension between the both of us relaxed a great deal."

 

Dean glanced over at Cas and picked at the label on his beer. "They did?"

 

"Yes," Castiel said, smiling at his bottle before taking another gulp of it. "Perhaps it may not go as well between you and Sam, or maybe it will. I do know that Sam must care about you a great deal, and he would want you to be tired, and not exhausted."

 

Dean considered this and was quiet for a very long time. Castiel didn't push him any further. Dean had a lot to think about. Afterwards, Dean held his hand out and Castiel blinked at him until Dean repeated the gesture.

 

"Your list, come on. I'm sure it's gotten longer in the past few days, let's start going through it," Dean said.

 

Castiel relaxed, watching as the rest of the tension Dean had been carrying around started to bleed out of him. He fished the paper (now using both sides) out of his pocket and offered it to Dean, who put it on the bar between the both of them.

 

"Holy shit, Cas, are you listening to anything other than the stuff I've given you?" Dean asked with a laugh, flipping the paper over on both sides.

 

"I confess that I prefer Apocalyptica during my work. However, during the rest of the day, I'm investigating the different music that you have given me," Castiel said. "There is a lot of it to work through."

 

Dean chuckled and smoothed out the list. "There's a lot of music to learn, and I'm glad that we're broadening your horizons, even if you aren't loving all of it."

 

"There is a great deal of it that I do not love, true," Castiel agreed, glancing down at the paper. He smiled. "I did surprise a co-worker when they realized I was listening to ‘Thunderstruck.’"

 

Dean barked out a laugh and knocked back the rest of his beer. "Oh man..."

 

"Indeed," Castiel said. "I'm not quite sure he has gotten over the shock, since he proceeded to tell most of my other co-workers about the discovery. Much of your knowledge came in handy."

 

"Why Cas, we're going to make you popular at work yet!"

 

Castiel chuckled. "I have no desire to be popular, only to do my work and get it accomplished to the best possible level."

 

Dean snickered and reached out to ruffle Cas' hair. "A perfect little worker bee, huh?"

 

Castiel scowled at Dean and shook his head. "Not at all."

 

Dean laughed and looked at the paper again. "Absolutely not, you're completely a rebel, agreed."

 

Castiel squinted at Dean, but even if the man was teasing, it was the same kind of gentle teasing it had been in the past week, and throughout their text conversations. Dean would make fun of him, but there was no malice or contempt in his tone. It was similar to the way that Gabriel often teased him.

 

"Come on, Cas, let's work through this list, or I'm going to do nothing but answer questions the next time that we hang out together."

 

Obediently, Castiel focused in on the paper again and took a deep breath. "Let's start here, with one of the early Led Zeppelin albums. I had a question..."

 

More than an hour passed in a pleasant haze of Dean's laughter and when his alarm went off to alert him that he needed to pick up Gabriel, there were several bottles littering the counter in front of him.

 

Dean gave him a grin and then scowled when Castiel swiped the receipt for their drinks out from under his hand. He felt drunk on Dean's gaze and the way his lips had gotten pinker through the evening, the more that he licked them.

 

"Cas, I'm broke, but I'm not so broke that I can't afford a couple of-"

 

"You paid for dinner when we were together last weekend. I will cover the drinks this evening," Castiel insisted, sliding his credit card to the bartender. Dean only gave him a bemused smile and nodded, and Castiel felt good about winning that battle.

 

"All right, I suppose that's fair, but I'll cover us next time," Dean said.

 

"Very well," Castiel agreed, giving Dean a smile. "Will you be able to get home safe?"

 

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Don't worry," Dean said, reaching out to squeeze Cas' arm. "And, uh, thanks."

 

Castiel blinked at Dean. "For what?"

 

"What you said earlier. About Sam. And just, listening."

 

Castiel stared at Dean for a long moment. "I will always be here for when you need someone to listen to you, Dean. I won't judge, nor will I care what the topic is."

 

Dean laughed and shook his head. "You are a weird guy, but I think you're my kind of weird guy, Cas."

 

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel said, watching as Dean slid off his stool and walked to the door.

 

"I'll text you sometime this weekend. Talk to you later, Cas!" Dean called, waving his hand.

 

"Goodbye," Castiel called back.

 

He was Dean's kind of weird guy. Whatever it was that that meant. Castiel held the words close to his chest and ignored the knowing and slightly worried look that Gabriel continued to give him as he drove them both home.

 

He'd been able to help Dean and provide some sort of comfort that he had clearly needed in regards to his brother. Castiel didn't let Gabriel say anything as he made his way to the room and shut the door behind him.

 

Gabriel might be right in regards to his feelings for Dean, but he had a lifetime of experience of not letting those get the best of him. Castiel smiled and pulled out the list that now had a dozen more lines and recommendations on it that Dean had drawn out for him.

 

Perhaps he did have it 'bad' as Gabriel suggested.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

The next two weeks passed with Cas and Dean meeting up several nights to discuss bands and music over beer, which branched into additional topics. Dean spent almost an entire evening talking about his car and how he had built her from the ground up, then another ranting about his brother, which had turned into multiple stories about him and Sam as siblings. Castiel could not remember a time when he had laughed more.

 

This weekend, Dean was free again on Sunday, and Castiel was going to be coming over around two, just like he had before.

 

At least Gabriel had been distracted by someone else and was in the midst of his own whirlwind romance, so he did not bother Castiel about the amount of time he was spending with Dean. Even with his brother home, Dean had always made sure to make time for the both of them, and Castiel couldn’t help but smile when Dean threw out small comments and complaints to Sam.

 

He picked up the same beer as last time and resisted the urge to buy another bottle of whiskey. Dean still had the bottle of what he had deemed ‘the good stuff’ and it remained unopened. Castiel decided he would need to convince Dean to try it this evening.

 

Castiel knocked on the door and heard the sound of a crash and then cursing and smiled. Sam left his belongings lying all over the house on a regular basis. Dean had ranted about it more than once, and it was clear he had crashed into something.

 

Dean yanked open the door and Castiel stared at him, and at the sight of Dean's bare chest before Dean was padding away from him. He stared when he realized that was not all. Dean was in nothing more than a towel and there was water slowly dripping down the defined muscles of his back and, and Dean was saying something.

 

"-cannot believe the dick waited until the last possible second to get into the damn shower, I told him that you were coming over and that he needed to scram, but does he get out of the bathroom in time, no!" Dean said, striding towards his bedroom.

 

Castiel stepped into the apartment and shut the door behind him, walking to the fridge to deposit the beers in there. He cleared his throat and tried to blink away the image of Dean wearing nothing more than the white towel that went just past-mid thigh. "At least he left you some of the hot water?"

 

"Thank fuck!" Dean cursed. "Fucker would have died if he had used up all of it!"

 

Castiel chuckled and grabbed a beer for them both, bringing it into the living room, and settling down on the couch to wait for Dean. He relaxed into the couch. "At least you do not live with Gabriel. My brother thinks nothing of walking from the bathroom to his room wearing nothing."

 

Dean poked his head out of the bedroom and raised both eyebrows. "Seriously?"

 

Castiel nodded. "Yes. I believe he was a nudist in his former life."

 

Dean barked out a laugh and grabbed a t-shirt, padding into the living room. "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest." He shuddered. "Sam at least knows to wear a damn towel, even if he does get up at ungodly hours."

 

Castiel smiled as Dean flopped onto the couch next to him and gave a pleased groan as he passed the beer over. "What are ungodly hours?"

 

"Five or six in the morning!" Dean said, pressing a hand to his face. "He goes out and exercises, Cas! It's horrible!"

 

Castiel blinked. "Dean, you regularly go to the gym when you are able to. And-"

 

"Yeah, because I strip for a living! Believe me, if I didn't, there's no way you would see me anywhere near a gym!" Dean said, settling deeper into the couch. He groaned. "Fuck, I don't want to move."

 

"You do not have to," Castiel said, taking a sip of the beer he had purchased for himself. It was flavored with blueberries and lacked some of the bitterness most beers had. He liked it. Much more than the beer Dean was drinking.

 

Dean squinted at him. "What are you drinking?"

 

"A beer I have found I liked. Would you like to try it?" Castiel asked, offering Dean the bottle.

 

"Nope. That would involve moving and you said I don't have to move," Dean said, waving his bottle a little.

 

Castiel smiled. "No, you do not have to move Dean."

 

Dean glanced toward the stereo. "We should put some music on. I need to continue your education."

 

"What if we were to do something else?" Castiel suggested. "Perhaps a movie? That way you would not need to think excessively, nor move."

 

Dean chuckled and groaned. "That sounds too good. Throw in some pizza this afternoon and I think I'll be in heaven."

 

Castiel smiled. "Consider it done. I think we can even break open the bottle I purchased for you last month."

 

"Beer, whiskey and pizza? Add some Bruce Willis and consider me officially wooed," Dean said with a laugh. "Let's put in Die Hard, I haven't watched that movie in ages."

 

"I have never seen it," Castiel admitted and chuckled when Dean gave him an incredulous look.

 

"Don't tell me that I need to introduce you to all of the cult classics, on top of music," Dean groused, staring at Castiel.

 

Castiel cleared his throat and took a pointed sip of his beer.

 

Dean groaned. "Okay. Okay. We're starting with Die Hard and then we are going to watch Star Wars. I am not letting you go another day with never having seen Star Wars."

 

Castiel smiled and stood up to walk towards the rack of movies. "That sounds like an excellent plan to me."

 

Dean grumbled and took another sip of his beer. "How do you get to your age and not know about fucking Star Wars...?"

 

"By being raised in a very sheltered and religious family," Castiel said, watching Dean shoot him a surprised glance before dissolving into laughter. He picked up the movie Dean had indicated and placed it into the player before returning to the couch.

 

"Okay, I'll totally buy that, but you live with Gabriel, Cas. The guy is a walking cultural reference," Dean said.

 

"Yes," Castiel agreed. "However, I do not get a majority of his jokes and never have, a fact that he laments regularly."

 

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and knowing him, it's probably something along the lines of bitching about how you don't appreciate his genius humor. The guy is not nearly as funny as he thinks he is."

 

Castiel blinked and then chuckled. "I believe that is exactly what he said, or very close to it." He settled into the couch and offered Dean the remote.

 

"Of course it is," Dean grumbled and rolled his eyes. "He thinks he's so funny."

 

"I have been assured by a majority of people we know that Gabriel _is_ funny. It is simply not my sense of humor."

 

Dean smirked. "You know what we're going to do, Cas? I'm going to have you watch Star Wars, and then I'm going to tell you a reference to make with Gabriel, and then you are going to take a picture of his stunned expression."

 

Castiel blinked at Dean and then smiled. "I believe that would be an excellent plan, Dean."

 

“Of course it is, I’m the one that came up with it,” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

 

“Careful, you sound dangerously like my brother,” Castiel said. Dean threw his head back and laughed and Castiel could not tear his eyes away. Dean was so _beautiful_. Especially like this, relaxed and simply enjoying their time together.

 

 

 

~!~!~

 

 

 

Five hours and three movies later, Castiel broke out the bottle of 'the good stuff' and offered Dean a glass. Dean stared at it for a moment before taking a slow sip of it.

 

"Fuck," he whispered, his voice reverent as he took another sip of it.

 

Castiel smiled and raised his own glass in toast to Dean and took a long sip of his. "I believe I quite like this particular whiskey."

 

"Would have been a hell of a waste of two hundred bucks if you didn't like it," Dean mumbled, pouring himself a little bit more. "We're taking a drinking break. I need something to wash all of that pizza down."

 

Castiel chuckled and took another sip, watching as Dean poured himself a full glass. "Is Sam expected back this evening?"

 

Dean waved a hand at Cas. "He knows you're over and he has a key. He said he wanted to go out and do some studying and walk around the town. Dude is six four and built like a brick shit house. I'm not worried about him."

 

"Yes, you are," Castiel said, keeping his eyes on Dean.

 

Dean snorted and glared at Cas over his glass. "You know me too well."

 

"I know you precisely as well as you let me, and you are angry I guessed correctly," Cas shot back, smiling at Dean.

 

"Bastard," Dean muttered, and then downed the rest of his glass. "Fuck, this stuff goes down like water."

 

Castiel chuckled. "There is an entire bottle, Dean. Please feel free to taste some of it and enjoy yourself."

 

"Of course," Dean said, rolling his eyes. "The loaded guy, thinks nothing of downing whiskey that costs more than I make in a day at one of my normal jobs."

 

"Stop complaining," Castiel said. "It's ruining my enjoyment of the drink."

 

Dean burst out laughing and handed the bottle over to Cas. "You are an ass."

 

Castiel hummed his agreement and poured another glass. "What is the significance of the heavy breathing Darth Vader does? Is it meant to be intimidating?"

 

Dean stared at Cas and tilted his head. "Of all of the things you could have asked me about in the movies, you choose to pick on the dude who has trouble breathing?"

 

Castiel smiled as Dean rolled his eyes and went on to explain what had happened to cause Darth Vader to end up in the suit that he wore. The explanation made sense, albeit only if one had a strong imagination.

 

"It's fiction, Cas, it's not meant to be literal," Dean said, drinking more of the whiskey and settling back into the couch, spreading his legs and putting his feet up on the coffee table. "I say we leave the third movie for another time and focus on getting properly drunk, what about you?"

 

Castiel hummed and looked at the glass in his hands. "I think that is an excellent plan. Could I sleep on your couch?"

 

"Sure. Just don't be surprised if Sam gives you weird looks tomorrow morning," Dean said with a chuckle. "Actually, yeah, you can pretty much count on that."

 

"My first ever walk of shame. How thrilling," Castiel deadpanned, watching as Dean cracked up again, nearly bending himself in half as he laughed.

 

"Fucking hell! I have no idea why Crowley and your brother would ever call you boring. Nerdy, sure. But Cas, the last thing you are is boring," Dean said, reaching over to clink their glasses together. "Just in case you didn't know that already."

 

Castiel chuckled and rolled his eyes as he stared at Dean. "Your sentiment is greatly appreciated, thank you."

 

"I'm serious!" Dean protested. "You are a snarky little shit. You'll get along great with Sam. The two of you can nerd away in all your brilliance."

 

Castiel smiled and reached out to pour more of the whiskey into Dean's glass, watching green eyes widen. "Thank you for the compliment, Dean. Now have another drink."

 

"You tryin' to get me drunk there, Cas?"

 

"Absolutely," Castiel agreed, smiling at Dean. "When was the last time that you were properly drunk, Dean?"

 

"Been awhile. Can't afford it," Dean said with a snort. "But, I don't have to be up early tomorrow, so I can bury my sorrows."

 

"Then you are going to enjoy yourself," Castiel ordered, clinking their glasses together again before drinking down the remainder of what was in his glass. It was unlikely that he would be able to get drunk with Dean, but he could enjoy watching Dean relax further.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

Dean had slowed down the further they had gotten through the bottle, and Castiel smiled as Dean seemed to bond completely with the couch, his whole body relaxed as he stared at the ceiling. He had never seen Dean look so very comfortable in his skin. "Dean?"

 

"Yeah, Cas?"

 

"Is there something on the ceiling?"

 

"Nope~" Dean said, turning his head to the side. "I either stare at the ceiling, or at you. The ceiling won't make me seem creepy."

 

Castiel smiled and watched as Dean turned his head upward again. "I certainly don't mind if you stare at me, Dean." Green eyes were on him again in a moment and Castiel smiled, meeting Dean's gaze easily.

 

"Hey, Cas?"

 

Castiel tilted his head. Dean's expression had shifted into one he didn't recognize. A mix of longing and confusion. "Yes, Dean?"

 

"Why aren't you dating anyone?" Dean asked, raising his glass for a quick sip before putting it down on the arm of the couch again. "I mean, I know you were dating Crowley, and the guy is an asshole, so I figured you didn't want to date anyone for a bit after that. But now that it's been a while, why aren't you dating anyone else?"

 

Castiel bit back the immediate response that the reason was sitting next to him on a second hand, very comfortable, couch. Dean would not appreciate the joke, even though he was as serious as could possibly be. "There are not many people that find me attractive."

 

Dean scoffed and took another sip. "That's bullshit, you are gorgeous. A little nerdy. And weird. But you just need to wear shit that fits you. And maybe trade the trench coat in for something else."

 

Castiel frowned. "I like my trench coat."

 

Dean laughed. "I know! It suits you. But it's not..." He yawned and raised a hand in a gesture. "It's not fitting. Show yourself off."

 

Castiel blinked and considered the advice. "I would not wish to date someone only interested in me for my body, Dean. What would dressing differently accomplish?"

 

"It gets them to _look_ , man. It doesn't have to be all about the physical. Like, with me. I got you to look, first, then we started talking, right?"

 

"Dean, people look at you for your living," Castiel said.

 

"Yeah, but you _looked_. I mean, checked me out, especially that first time we met. I know when I'm being ogled. It happens all the time," Dean said, dismissively. "But then you started talking to me."

 

Castiel blinked and was glad that Dean looked away from him a moment after. Dean didn't realize that those looks still happened? That he was still regularly 'checking' Dean out? Why was Dean no longer noticing? "I-"

 

"I mean, don't apologize or anything," Dean said, waving his hand again, taking another sip of his drink. "Gabriel hits on me all the time, and while I certainly don't mind being hit on, Gabriel does not float my boat."

 

Castiel chuckled as he imagined that for a moment. Gabriel and Dean together. It would certainly be interesting. "You are both rather similar. I think you might find yourselves liking it, were you ever to get together."

 

Dean made a face. "No way. I mean, don't get me wrong. Gabriel's got a decent ass, but he is too damn short for me."

 

"I suppose that is true. Do not ever tell him that. He'll walk around in heels for weeks just to prove a point," Castiel said.

 

Dean hummed his agreement and Castiel studied Dean's profile as he looked back up at the ceiling again. There was the obvious question that had not been asked yet...

 

"What do you prefer in a partner of your choice, Dean?" Castiel asked.

 

Dean blinked and looked at Cas. "What?"

 

"You...you asked me why I wasn't dating. I gave you the reason. I prefer someone who likes me for my mind rather than my body. What about you?"

 

Dean laughed. "I barely have time to breathe. I don't have time for a relationship!"

 

"We manage perfectly well," Castiel put in, before realizing what he had said. He cleared his throat, about to clarify and tell Dean that wasn't what he had meant at all, it had merely been a-

 

"Yeah, but you're my best friend. I don't mind making time for you. But with three jobs, and Sammy home, _and_ you, there's no way in hell I could manage dating a chick or a dude," Dean said, pushing his fingers through his hair.

 

Castiel stared and felt his stomach drop and his cheeks heat. Dean was still staring at the ceiling and not at him, or he would have noticed, he had no doubts about it. He took a deep breath and tightened his fingers on the glass that he was holding. "Dean-"

 

"Like, think about how much work and time relationships are. I'm too broke to be taking someone out all the time, and the last thing they are going to want to do is hang out and do nothing all the time," Dean said, smiling. He looked over at Cas. "Hell, most best friends don't want to do that."

 

"Well, I am not most best friends," Castiel said, taking another sip of his drink to hide his face from Dean.

 

"Thank god for that," Dean muttered.

 

"Dean," Castiel asked. "Obviously, you know my sexual preferences, since you know I was dating Crowley. Your own...?"

 

Dean grunted and took another sip of the whiskey. "Suppose I'm drunk enough for that confession, sure."

 

Castiel tilted his head to the side and stared at Dean, waiting for him to continue.

 

"Okay, so, Sammy thinks I'm straight, and that's mostly right. But there's been a handful of dudes here and there, and, just, I'm pretty easy. I think you know that, right?" Dean asked, looking over at Cas. Shit, were Cas' eyes always that bright blue? He flushed and turned to the ceiling again.

 

"I would never have called you easy, Dean," Castiel said, watching Dean stretch a little before finishing off the whiskey in his glass.

 

Dean snickered. "Fucking hell, I am so easy, Cas. I wish I didn't even have to say it, but I am. When I want to go get laid, I can do it in about an hour at any bar in the city."

 

"That is because you are, objectively speaking, absolutely gorgeous," Castiel said, staring at Dean. His eyes widened as he watched Dean's cheeks turn pink under the freckles and his breath caught. They looked even better now.

 

"What? You have to be objective about it?" Dean asked, putting his glass down so he could turn on his side. "Do you think I'm seeeeeexy?"

 

Castiel snorted and stared at Dean. "Oh yes, without a doubt, the sexiest," he managed, hating that his voice choked in the middle of that sentence.

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Your sarcasm is, as always, appreciated. Thank you, Cas."

 

"Yes," Castiel said, his voice small and quiet. "You are gorgeous, Dean."

 

Dean blinked and stared at Cas, his mouth dropping open. "That...wasn't sarcastic?"

 

"Well," Castiel said, downing the rest of his glass. "The first response was. The second, no. I was not sarcastic. You are gorgeous, Dean. You are funny, gorgeous, loyal, honest and someone anyone would be proud to date."

 

Dean felt himself blushing, even though he hated fucking blushing, but the way that Cas was looking at him, dead serious and so fucking earnest, there was no way he could do anything else with a look like that. "For fuck's sake Cas-"

 

"No," Castiel said, shifting so he was facing Dean, his expression serious. "You are the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. You may downplay yourself all you like, but that will never make that any less untrue."

 

Dean cleared his throat and stared at Cas. "Well, damn."

 

Castiel tilted his head as Dean pressed a hand to the couch and levered himself upright. Dread settled into his stomach. Had he offended Dean by admitting his attraction? "Dean, I-"

 

Soft lips were pressed against his a moment later and Castiel stared at Dean's freckles, up close and personal and only millimeters away from him. Both of Dean's hands pressed his shoulders back into the couch, and Castiel allowed himself to fall back, shivering when Dean settled over him, his knees on either side of his hips. "Dean," he breathed as Dean pulled away and stared at him.

 

Dean cleared his throat and reached up to rub a thumb over Cas' lower lip. "Right. Yeah. Gorgeous, huh?"

 

Castiel nodded and turned his head to press a kiss to Dean's thumb, licking at the pad of his finger, shooting Dean a quick glance.

 

Dean groaned and nearly fell on top of him again and Castiel was glad that he had put his glass and the bottle down on the floor when Dean's lips slammed into his, hard and demanding. The kiss was everything he had imagined kissing Dean would be and more.

 

Castiel reached up and pushed his fingers into Dean's hair, tugging him into the kiss as Dean gasped into his mouth, his arms shaking a little. "Dean," he growled, pulling on Dean's hair again, tilting his head to allow them to kiss deeper, Dean's tongue intent on claiming his mouth as they kissed until they had to break apart for air.

 

In an instant, Dean levered himself off of Cas. "Come on," he ordered, his voice gruff.

 

Castiel bit down the whimper and frustrated noise he wanted to make when Dean climbed off of him. He grabbed Dean's hand and managed to get himself upright. Was that it, was Dean really going to-

 

"I am not making out on the couch like a teenager when I have a perfectly good bed that is going to fit both of us," Dean grumbled, grabbing Cas' hand and stumbling a bit as he headed for the bedroom.

 

Castiel shivered at Dean's hand wrapping around his as he was tugged towards Dean's bedroom. He'd been in here before, in brief instances, usually to grab something Dean needed, but now, like this-

 

Dean tugged him into the room and shut the door behind him, locking it, muttering something about Sam not interrupting them.

 

Castiel stared at Dean, and swallowed hard as Dean turned to him and smirked. He hadn't doubted the claim Dean had made about being able to pick up any man or woman he wanted, but looking like this... Now he knew it was a fact.

 

"Say no now, Cas," Dean growled, licking his lips as he approached.

 

"Yes," Castiel whispered, staring at Dean. Dean's smirk widened and those green eyes took a slow, lazy path down his body and back up again.

 

"Good," Dean said, reaching out to unbutton Cas' white button up. He leaned in and licked a slow path up Cas' neck. "Sorry if I'm a little rusty."

 

Castiel laughed and tried not to moan as he tilted his head back to give Dean more room. "I am not in any place to complain, Dean." Dean made another noise against his throat and then bit down, and Cas shuddered, reaching out to wrap his hands around that tantalizing strip of skin Dean always had exposed above the line of his sweatpants. He tucked his fingers into the elastic and stepped closer to Dean.

 

Castiel cleared his throat and tried to focus when Dean managed to get his shirt off and yank it down and off his arms. "Dean," he moaned, kicking off his socks a moment later, shivering again when Dean's hands dove for his belt.

 

"Fuck, love that," Dean mumbled, pulling away just enough to look at Cas again. He reached out and traced his finger over Cas' lips. "You look at me like I'm something special, something important."

 

Castiel tilted his head and sucked the tip of Dean's finger into his mouth, resisting the urge to smirk when Dean gave a loud groan and his hips bucked up, demanding more. He pulled his mouth away a moment later and stared at Dean, raising his eyebrow. "You are something special," he whispered.

 

Dean groaned and yanked Cas' pants and boxers down, leaving them in a heap at his feet. "Get on the fucking bed before we end up on the floor."

 

Castiel gave a hoarse chuckle and ignored the order, reaching for the bottom of Dean's t-shirt, yanking it up and over his head. He'd seen Dean shirtless, and mostly naked even, a dozen or more times over, while dancing, and yet it had nothing on the raw sensuality pouring off Dean there in his bedroom.

 

Dean growled and ripped his shirt off and his boxers and sweats in a single motion, pushing Castiel back onto the bed. "Get on the damn bed, Cas."

 

Castiel chuckled and tugged Dean with him as he fell back onto the bed. Dean had blue and green plaid sheets, which were very fitting and surprisingly comfy, but it was nothing compared to how Dean felt when he settled on top of him. Castiel groaned and tugged Dean down to kiss him again.

 

Dean pushed Cas to the bed and manhandled him until he could get as close as possible, kissing him for what felt like hours. He could spend years kissing Cas like this, getting lost in how good the slide of their lips felt and every single noise that Cas made under him. He cursed and reached over into the bedside table, he was pretty sure he'd had condoms, but it'd been a fucking while since he'd bought them and-

 

"Aha!" he said, closing his fingers around a handful of foil packets. He yanked them out and tossed them to the other side of the bed. He looked down at Cas again who had raised an eyebrow at him and pressed a kiss to his nose, just to see those blue eyes glare at him.

 

"Dean, I don't believe either of us has-"

 

"Shut up," Dean grumbled. "Better safe than sorry."

 

Castiel snorted and rolled them over in a quick motion. Dean was still very inebriated, and he went, with a surprised look in his eyes and a quick flail of limbs. "There. Now, if you will, please?" He held his hand out for one of the condoms Dean had grabbed and tore it open, shifting to sit on Dean's lower thighs. His own cock bobbed between his legs, but he was far more focused on Dean.

 

"Cas?" Dean asked, his voice hoarse. Cas looked like he was going to devour him, and well, it'd been a long time since anyone had looked at him like that.

 

"I'd like to taste you, Dean," Castiel said, leaning down to press a kiss over Dean's heart, then down his sternum and stomach. "Sadly, it will need to be through latex for the evening, but I would like to. May I?"

 

Dean huffed out a laugh and reached out to tug on Cas' hair. "You need to ask?"

 

Castiel smiled against Dean's skin and nipped at it. "I do. You deserve only what you want, and if you want to do nothing more than kiss-"

 

Dean snorted. "Think it's pretty fucking obvious I want to do more than just kiss," he said, looking down.

 

Castiel glanced down as well and wrapped a hand around Dean's cock, giving it a slow stroke, just to watch Dean groan and arch as he did. "I believe so as well, but I would rather check."

 

Dean rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the flush that started on his cheeks. "Well, consider this permission."

 

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel whispered, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the cut of Dean's hipbone. He sucked on the skin, wishing that he could bite down and leave a mark, but if this was the only time that he would get a chance to touch Dean, he would not leave marks on the other man.

 

"Cas, fuck, come on, man!" Dean growled, tugging at Cas' hair again.

 

Castiel smiled and pulled away and tore the condom wrapper open, slowly rolling it down Dean's cock before stroking him again, watching as Dean's hips rocked into the motion of his fist.

 

"Cas-"

 

Castiel cut off Dean's protest by leaning down and sucking the head into his mouth, giving a hard suck as he swallowed Dean all the way to the base. This was a talent he was certain Dean would enjoy and by the hoarse shout Dean gave a moment later, he was right.

 

"F-Fuck! Cas!" Dean shouted, biting down on his lower lip as Cas swallowed around the tip of his cock, before pulling back slowly, then bobbing down again. Fuck, he wasn't going to last any time at all. "Warn a guy!"

 

Castiel pulled back and licked at the tip of Dean's cock before sucking just the tip into his mouth, laving attention on it with his tongue and lips. He shifted and kissed down the underside, enjoying the way Dean squirmed and whined under him. "I wish I could taste you," Castiel whispered, his voice loud in a room filled with Dean's pants and groans.

 

"I want to taste you, drink down the very scent of you until I am covered in it, claimed by you," Cas whispered, watching Dean's hips buck into the air, his fingers tightening in his hair. Cas groaned and leaned into the touch of Dean's hand. It was possessive and he liked it more than he wanted to admit to. "Dean."

 

"Cas, please," Dean begged, spreading his legs wider, letting Cas settle in closer to him. He let his head fall back to the pillows and didn't bother to try keeping in the moan again when Castiel swallowed him deep, bobbing his head in a slow and steady rhythm. "Fuck, okay, you're fucking amazing at this, and I'm shit at dirty talk with a dude."

 

Castiel hummed around the erection in his mouth and dropped one hand to Dean's balls, giving him a slow squeeze, losing himself in the rhythm and the loud, choked moan Dean gave out a moment later. He was good at this, and he enjoyed it even more when the partner was as responsive as Dean.

 

"Cas, oh fuck," Dean swore, forcing his hips down to the mattress, trying not to buck into his mouth again. It wasn't easy, and then Cas took him all the way in again and stayed there, sucking hard for a few good seconds before he pulled off to suck just at the tip. Dean shuddered and tightened his hold in Cas' hair. "Fuck, I'm not gonna-"

 

Castiel pulled off and licked his lips. "Do not try to hold yourself back on my account, Dean," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

 

"Yeah, well, you are making that easy," Dean grumbled, gasping as Cas did something with his tongue that felt fucking amazing through the latex, and maybe he'd get a chance to do this without it someday and that thought had him at the edge long before he wanted to be. "Cas!"

 

Castiel groaned around Dean's cock and sank all of the way to the base again, sucking hard. He could already feel Dean swelling on his tongue, his fingers flexing in his hand. He dropped his hands to Dean's thigh and held him down, and that was enough to have Dean bucking under him, shouting as he came, his entire body shaking.

 

Castiel sucked eagerly at him as Dean rode out the aftershocks, before pulling his mouth away and tugging the condom off Dean. He tossed it into the garbage can beside the bed that he had noticed and looked at Dean, spread out on the bed in front of him, his golden chest heaving as he sucked in air. He gave a pleased smirk.

 

"Stop looking so damn pleased," Dean grumbled, opening an eye to stare at Cas. Fuck and in the light of his bedroom, it was easy to see how bright blue Cas' eyes were and how his lips were red and swollen from taking him in so easily. "You're fantastic."

 

Castiel raised an eyebrow and looked at the sight of Dean's body, relaxed from orgasm and did his best to memorize it. It was possible that he would never have the chance to see it again. He relaxed and then tensed when he felt Dean's hand move to his thigh and give a slow squeeze. "Dean?"

 

"All right, so," Dean said, sitting up a little. "I'm a little late to the party, but do you mind getting off of me so I can return the favor?"

 

"You don't have to-"

 

Dean chuckled and rolled Cas over and stretched out over him. "Oh no, I'm an equal opportunity dude. You're getting blown to within an inch of your life. Even if I am a bit too drunk to manage proper technique."

 

Castiel pulled Dean down for a desperate kiss, nipping and sucking at his lips until Dean was moaning into the kiss just like him. "I don't give a damn about technique, Dean. But your condoms will not fit me properly," he growled. "So get your hand on me."

 

Dean blinked and looked down, getting an eyeful that he hadn't exactly been paying attention to earlier. He whistled and looked up at Cas. "What the hell are you doing hiding this body behind all of those baggy clothes?" he growled.

 

Castiel shrugged and shivered under the dark gaze from Dean. "I told you. I do not want someone who is interested in me for only my body."

 

Dean hummed and leaned down to lick at Cas' neck. "I suppose that makes sense. And it means I got you here," he whispered, biting down on the tendons in Cas' neck, sucking hard for a few seconds before he pulled back to admire the mark. "I'll make it good for you regardless."

 

Castiel bit down another groan as Dean wrapped a hand around him and teased a thumb across the slit. "I have no doubt that you will prove most capable-"

 

"Fuck, if you can still talk like that, I'm not doing my job right," Dean muttered, shifting so he could stroke Cas a little easier. "Just sit back and enjoy the ride."

 

Castiel closed his eyes before he had even realized it and forced them open a second later, staring at Dean. He would not miss a single second of this. He would memorize it, and Dean's touch, forever. "Dean," he moaned, rocking his hips up and into Dean's hand.

 

"Yeah," Dean whispered, staring down at Cas. "Come on, let me see you move, I wanna."

 

Castiel groaned and wrapped an arm around Dean's neck, yanking him down and into another kiss, biting at his bottom lip before Dean kissed him properly. Dean's hand tightened around him and began stroking in earnest. He spread his legs, trying to give Dean the hint that more would be more than welcome if he wanted to take it further.

 

Dean groaned and pulled back from the kiss, watching as Cas planted his feet on the bed and rocked into every touch. "Fuck, look at you," he whispered, his hand slick and sliding easily over Cas' cock. "Talk to me, Cas."

 

Castiel stared at Dean and sucked in a desperate breath, trying to stave off his orgasm as Dean stared at him, his green eyes wide and wondering. "Dean, I, I will say whatever you want."

 

"Just, shit, like you said earlier. Talk to me, I don't care about what," Dean whispered, slowly down his touch, teasing Cas, watching as he bucked up again and clawed at the sheets.

 

"I wish I could have tasted you, swallowed you down, then kissed you and watched you groan into the kiss," Castiel panted, closing his eyes for a moment so he could imagine it. "I want to kiss every single inch of your skin, taste it, sweat slick and fresh from a routine, or clean and pure from a shower. I'd lick the water droplets from your skin, and take you apart with my mouth alone," he whispered.

 

Dean groaned and pressed his face against Cas' collarbone, his dick twitching. Fuck if that didn't make him want to get worked up all over again. The slick, obscene sounds of Cas rutting into his sound only served to turn him on further. "What else, tell me, what else?"

 

Castiel huffed out a laugh and opened his eyes, staring down at Dean, at the way that he was bent over his body, his hips making small rocking motions. "Everything, Dean, I want everything with you. I want to take you, spread you out under me and rock into you so slowly, worship you with every single moment, I want, I want..." He licked his lips and tried to think of the words.

 

"Cas," Dean moaned, shivering hard.

 

"I want to feel you pin me to the wall and take me, my legs around your waist as you fuck me," Cas growled, watching Dean shudder at the words. "Hard and brutal, working off that frustration and energy you have sometimes."

 

Dean gave another keen and dove in for a desperate kiss, biting and sucking at Cas' lips, his hand flying over Cas' erection, feeling it swell in his hands until Cas gave a hard buck and moaned into his mouth, crying out as he came, making a mess of both of their stomachs.

 

Dean worked him through it, pulling back just enough to watch Cas' eyes go hazy in bliss, his mouth falling open, his lips wet and slick from their kissing. "Jesus, Cas."

 

Castiel smiled and pulled Dean down for another kiss, their bodies sliding together completely. He didn't care about the mess between them, or that their kissing was sloppy and uncoordinated. It was perfect, and it was all that he would ever have. These stolen moments with Dean, until reality tore them both apart all over again.

 

After several long moments, Dean rolled off of him and to his back. Castiel turned to study him and smiled before padding into the bathroom, cleaning himself off. Dean was already snoring when he came back to the bedroom. He cleaned Dean off, gently and carefully and stole one last, final kiss before tucking Dean into bed.

 

The sound of the door to the apartment opening made him freeze and he watched Dean's closed door as he heard Sam lumber towards the second bedroom. Sam clearly paused in front of Dean's bedroom, but he was likely able to hear Dean's snores and made for his own bedroom immediately after.

 

Castiel waited another ten minutes before gathering his clothes, pulling them on as quietly as he could before he slipped out of the bedroom, and then the house. He made it all of the way to his apartment with Gabriel and into his bedroom before the shock started to catch up with him.

 

He would have to pretend that it had never happened. That he didn’t know what Dean looked like, spread out in bed, what he looked like blissed out from orgasm…

 

Castiel took a deep breath. He would not think of it any longer. It would only lead to heartache.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

Dean woke up and groaned, pressing a hand to his head. Fucking hell, he should not have had that much to drink last night. That had been a mistake of epic fucking proportions. At least Cas was going to be miserable with him and he could commiserate with someone else.

 

He reached out to shake Cas awake and frowned when his hand hit empty bed. He tilted his head upwards and looked around the room, wondering where the hell Cas could have gotten to at this hour of the morning.

 

Dean took a couple of deep breaths and looked around the damn room. No sign of Cas' clothes or anything else. He listened for a few seconds longer and heard Sam moving around in the kitchen. He fell back to the bed and sighed, staring up at the ceiling. Fucking hell. So this is what being left felt like.

 

He rolled over and stared at his nightstand. He hadn't imagined it, he was damn sure he hadn't. He'd been drunk, but he hadn't been _that_ drunk. Drunk enough that when Cas called him gorgeous with that stupid fucking look on his face, there was no way that he couldn't kiss him. Dean groaned and pressed his hands to his face, staring at the dresser drawer that was still tugged open from where he had fumbled through it.

 

Dean reached down and pulled the covers up and over his head, settling into the damn bed. Fuck. Of course Cas hadn't wanted to stay. He'd given him no reason to stay after all that talk about him not having time for a boyfriend or girlfriend, or any sort of significant other.

 

He sighed. _Dammit_. Of course he fucked it up. He hadn't even let them get started before he fucked up. Now he just had to hope that Cas wouldn't fucking stop being his friend too, on top of everything. Because that would be just his fucking luck.

 

Dean pushed his face out of the blankets and grabbed his phone off the charger on the dresser and stared at it, swiping it open a moment later, chewing on his lip. Before he could think better of it, he sent a text to Cas.

 

'Hopefully I didn't make too big of an ass out of myself last night. You get home safe?'

 

It didn't mention anything, and well, he was known to be an asshole when he was drunk, so it was definitely a legit question, and if Cas didn't respond, well, he'd have his answer about what Cas was thinking of him. Dean stared at the phone for so long his vision started to get blurry and fucking hell, he could still sleep for at least a couple more hours before he needed to be awake, might as well doze off again...

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

When he woke up, there was one new message waiting from Cas. Dean grinned, bright and wide, swiped it open, and stared at the emoticon smiley that Cas had sent him. The message 'Home safe and sound.' and 'You're always an asshole. I like it.' made his heart hurt in ways that he wasn't going to think about it.

 

At least Cas didn't hate him after what had happened last night. They were going to be okay. He just, needed to make sure that it didn't happen again, and he didn't think about it too fucking much. Not that that was likely, but he could definitely hope. He took a deep breath and sent Cas a laughing face emoticon in return.

 

Cas always got a kick out of it when he was sent emoticons.

 

Dean put his phone back down on the dresser and pushed himself out of bed. He needed to clean up for his shift at the club tonight. He padded over to the bathroom, scratching at his belly, glad that Sam appeared to have left the house for the morning, and he didn't have to face him just yet. He was not ready for that.

 

The scalding hot shower was exactly what he needed, and by the time he got out, Dean wasn't going to worry about it, or about Cas any longer. Cas didn't hate him, and that was the most important thing. He wouldn't have known what the hell to do with himself if Cas hated him.

 

He was just finishing getting dressed when Sam finally appeared, looking, well, looking like fucking shit. Dean paused and stared at him. "Sam? You getting sick?"

 

Sam shook his head and went into the kitchen. "No. I'm..."

 

"Don't even try to say fine," Dean said, following Sam into the kitchen and took a deep breath. "What the hell happened to you?"

 

"I got a wake up call I wasn't ready for," Sam said, starting to pull things out of the fridge to make a sandwich. "That's all I'm going to say about it."

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Must be serious if you're not wanting to have some sort of feelings talk about it."

 

Sam ignored that and pulled out two more packets of meat. "Be nice or I'm not going to make you a damn sandwich."

 

Dean held up his hands and shook his head. "All right, I'm sorry. Whatever has your panties in a twist will remain out of the topics that we will discuss. No problem!"

 

Sam rolled his eyes, but willingly took down a second plate. "Thank you."

 

Dean nodded and got himself a glass of orange juice and some of the coffee that Sam had already made before sitting down at the table. "Hey Sammy?"

 

Sam looked over his shoulder. "Hm?"

 

"Just, know that you can talk to me. I fucking hate chick flick shit, but if you need it, I can get drunk enough to manage it," Dean said.

 

Sam rolled his eyes and grinned at Dean. "Yeah, yeah. I must look fucking terrible if you're offering to deal with feelings."

 

Sam looked like his heart had been fucking broken, but Dean wasn't able to tell him that. Not when he was feeling in a similar, but not-quite-the-same way himself. That was a little too close to home and he didn't want to have Sam start prying into why he might not look like himself either. It was inviting a whole problem that he was really not ready to start exposing.

 

"Fucking sue me, you look like shit," Dean said, taking another big gulp of his coffee. He pulled out his phone and sent Cas a text, complaining about Sam and his bitchy as fuck behavior.

 

He got back an angry emoticon and a rant about how Gabriel was acting very similarly and that it was frustrating. Dean smiled and closed his phone, slipping it into his pocket as Sam finished their sandwiches and sat down at the table. He dug in. Might as well take advantage of someone willing to cook for him while he still could, since it wasn't going to last too much longer.

 

Work was boring. Boring as all fuck. Dean stripped, but Gabriel was off. The crowd was lackluster at best, and Crowley had something shoved so far up his ass that Dean did his absolute best to avoid him for as much of the evening as he possibly could. Dean headed home feeling fucking exhausted and he could not wait to pass out. This day just needed to be over.

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

Castiel knew Dean was starting to get concerned that he hadn't come to the club any time at all this week, but he wasn't sure that he was strong enough to face Dean. He wasn't sure that he would ever be strong enough to face Dean, and what he now felt for the man. He took a deep breath and tried not to think about Dean, but that had been all he could think of for the past few weeks, let alone hours. It was the worst kind of torture now.

 

Dean had willingly accepted his deflection and they had not talked about that night. For all he knew, Dean had no memory of it and was acting like he normally did. For some reason, that hurt more than the idea that they might be both ignoring what had happened.

 

If Dean didn't remember...

 

His phone chimed and Castiel looked at it, seeing a few texts from Dean. He took a deep breath and opened it. He needed to stop avoiding Dean. Being a coward was not going to accomplish anything, and would only drive Dean further and further away from him.

 

'Hey, haven't seen you in a few days, you okay?'

 

'I am sick and tired of Sam moping over whatever the fuck depressed him.'

 

'Is Gabriel still doing the same moping act? We should just lock them in a closet together so they can bitch to each other instead of to us.'

 

'Cas?'

 

It was the last message that made him pick up the phone and call it. Dean was at the Roadhouse, but he would be able to step out for a few minutes to speak with him if he wanted. He missed the sound of Dean's voice.

 

"Cas?"

 

Castiel opened his eyes and sat up a little, smiling despite himself. "Hello, Dean. I'm sorry that I have not been answering your texts. I had a headache this afternoon, and forgot I had turned off my phone."

 

"Oh, that's fine! I was getting worried, normally you respond right away!" he said, chuckling.

 

Castiel bit down on his lip. The lie tasted dry and ugly in his mouth. Here he was, lying to Dean, because he couldn't bear to face him. "I'm sorry."

 

"Don't apologize," Dean said, laughing. "It's fine. I just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything to piss you off."

 

"No, of course not, Dean. You're fine," Castiel said, settling back onto the couch. He took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. "Would you like to go out for beers tomorrow night before I take Gabriel home?"

 

"Yeah!" Dean said, eagerly. "I could definitely use a beer and the time to get away from Sam. I swear, whatever happened has been doing nothing but make him mope more and more!"

 

Castiel smiled. "I would be more than happy to take you out for some beer, Dean. My treat."

 

"I'm not going to say no to that!" Dean laughed. "Thanks Cas. I gotta head back in though, we're busy. I'll text you later!"

 

"Sounds good, Dean," Castiel said, closing his eyes as he settled back against the couch. An unfamiliar weight settled into his chest. He would be seeing Dean for the first time since everything had happened. He would manage, he would be able to do this. He had to. He wasn't going to lose Dean.

 

 

~!~

 

 

His plans were ruined by a frantic call from Gabriel, demanding to be picked up two hours before he was to meet with Dean. Castiel had been trying to nap and relax, only to have his phone ring a few minutes later. Gabriel sounded, Gabriel sounded terrible.

 

"I'll be right there," he said, driving to the club. He sent Dean two texts, apologizing for the last minute cancellation, but he needed to help his brother and make sure that everything that was all right. Gabriel was waiting for him outside of the club, his bag on his shoulder, his whole body tense. Castiel pulled up in the car and let Gabriel stutter out the words that he had finally managed to quit, that he was ready to start up his bakery that he had bought months ago. He wrapped his brother up in his arms tight and squeezed hard.

 

Gabriel was fighting something other than just quitting. Something else that had burned him, that he wasn't willing to talk about. Castiel recognized the expression, just as much as he did looking in the mirror. Gabriel was heartbroken and trying to hide it. Something that would never surprise him.

 

Castiel managed to get them both home and put Gabriel to bed (despite Gabriel's limited protests), before he called Dean. Dean didn't pick up, likely because he was working out on the floor, or because he was dancing a routine, so it was all that he could do to make sure his message explained what had happened and that he needed to stay home and take care of Gabriel.

 

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

Castiel didn't manage to sleep. Dean had never texted him or called him back after he had left his frantic message earlier and he wondered if Dean was angry with him. Castiel put the coffee on and waited for the smell to wake up Gabriel, like it always did. A few minutes later, Gabriel wandered in, rubbing his eyes.

 

"How do you feel?" Castiel asked, staring at his brother.

 

Gabriel grunted and poured himself a cup of coffee, taking a few sips of it before he turned to Castiel. He took a deep breath and sighed. "How does one usually feel when they quit their job and decide to start a new one and their own business?"

 

"Relieved, I imagine?" Castiel offered, staring at Gabriel. Gabriel looked more tired at that, if it were possible and Castiel watched him sink into a chair.

 

Gabriel huffed out a breath. "I'm not sure that I can do this, Cas."

 

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Ridiculous. You've been talking about doing this for years, and you are going to spend the next three months renovating, exactly like you had planned to."

 

"But what-"

 

"Do not doubt yourself now Gabriel. You don't deserve to put that on yourself. You have worked too hard for far too long to let something like this get in the way. You were planning on quitting in another few weeks regardless. This has simply accelerated your plans," Castiel said, glaring at his brother. "Now, drink your coffee. You have plans that you need to start making."

 

Gabriel laughed and stared at Castiel before he relaxed and took another sip of his coffee. "You're pretty amazing, know that?"

 

Castiel took a sip of his own coffee and savored the burn going down his throat. His phone was still and silent in his pocket. No word from Dean. "Of course I am, I'm related to you, after all."

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

Castiel lasted another two hours without a word from Dean. He debated on his message for several minutes, before typing out a message.

 

'I believe a proper apology involves groveling. Would you like pizza and beer this weekend?'

 

It took Dean over a day to respond, and every hour without a response was torture. Dean had to be angry with him, had to have thought that he did something, or something had happened. The weekend was still three days away, but at least they would have plans. Dean's one word response of 'Sure' was enough to have him debating what he needed to do to get back into Dean's good graces.

 

Perhaps Dean had finally thought it was best that they were no longer friends after what had happened between them both. He wouldn't have thought Dean capable of it, not most of this time, but this looked to be an exception, and he hated it more than he ever would have thought possible.

 

Castiel took a deep breath and made his way to the bakery, where Gabriel was directing a work crew and hovering over a series of architectural building plans. Gabriel was in his element here, and he wasn't afraid to pick up tools and work right alongside the other men, endearing him to the rest of the team. Castiel smiled and studied the plans all over again.

 

Gabriel had been meticulous, and everything still looked like it needed to. The air of heartbreak was still around him, but Gabriel seemed determined to do everything in his power to make sure that he forgot about it. Castiel studied his brother and smiled, not quite able to help it. Gabriel was truly a remarkable person.

 

"What's got you making that sappy look on your face?" Gabriel asked, rolling up one set of plans before walking over to Castiel. "Come on, baby bro, spill."

 

Castiel focused his attention on Gabriel again and smiled at him. "I have nothing to spill, Gabriel. I am fine."

 

"No, no, you've got that look on your face again. The one that says you're thinking about me and something is wrong," Gabriel said, elbowing Castiel with a grin on his face. "I recognize it too well for it to be anything else. Come on. Talk to me."

 

Castiel smiled and reached out to ruffle Gabriel's hair, ducking away from his swipe and squawk of indignation. "Nothing is wrong, Gabriel."

 

"I am going to make you _pay_ for that," Gabriel growled, trying to straighten his hair.

 

Castiel laughed and allowed himself to forget about Dean for a few hours as he started to help Gabriel get things organized.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

Castiel fidgeted, holding a case of beer and a bottle of 'the good stuff', hoping that the bribe would be enough to at least get Dean to talk to him. They'd barely exchanged any text messages in the past week, and he'd buried himself in helping with Gabriel when he wasn't working.

 

This was the reaction that he had expected after their night together, not the easy acceptance he had been met with. Maybe Dean had had just experienced a delayed version of the proper reaction and now he was going to make Castiel pay for what he had done.

 

Castiel took a deep breath and knocked on the door, hard and firm. He would not back down. If Dean wanted to hate him, he was more than certain that he deserved it. Dean opened the door and stared at him and Castiel froze, all of his resolve leaking out of him in a second. Dean did not look pleased to see him.

 

"Come on in, Cas," Dean said, pushing the door open. "Put the beer in the fridge. You know where the rest of the stuff goes. I’ll make the call for the pizza."

 

Castiel watched Dean walk away from him and deeper into the apartment. His heart started to sink into his shoes. Now he had his answer. Dean was angry at him, obviously angry at him, and perhaps he wouldn't be here for more than an hour before he would be on his way home again.

 

He couldn't imagine going back to his life before Dean - going back to the singular taste in music, back to listening to only classical music and talking with his brother when he was required to do it. Dean had come into his life like a whirlwind, and him leaving was going to remind him of just how empty it truly was.

 

"Jesus, Cas, stop looking like someone died," Dean said, stepping into the kitchen the grab a beer. He hesitated and looked at Cas. "Did, uh, someone die?"

 

"No," Castiel said, tightening his hands on the edge of the counter before he made himself let go so he could remove his trench coat, leaving it on the table as he made his way over to the couch. He paused and wondered if Dean would even want to sit on the couch together after what had happened there.

 

"All right, we need to talk," Dean said, gesturing to the couch as he flopped down.

 

Castiel followed him, sitting down, his back stiff. This was it. It was the moment where Dean would say that he never wanted to see him again. Dean would be angry, and beautiful, because he was always beautiful, but there was nothing Castiel would be able to say to defend himself. Nothing that he could even try to say. "I'm sorry, Dean."

 

"I'm, wait, what?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes at Cas. "What do you mean you're sorry? What the hell do you have to be sorry for? I was gonna apologize for being an ass this past week. I'm just dealing with Sam being a royal asshole, which turns _me_ into a royal asshole and I didn't want to take it out on you."

 

Castiel opened his mouth, blinked, and stared at Dean. "You aren't angry with me?"

 

"What? No! Jesus! I thought you would be angry at _me_ after I've been ignoring you for a week and a half! I mean, fuck, I didn't even call you when all that shit went down with Gabriel. Some kind of friend I am!" Dean said, pushing his hand through his hair and giving a frustrated sigh.

 

Castiel stared, hope flaring, hot and bright. Dean wasn't angry with him. Dean hadn't been purposefully ignoring him. "I think it seems we both got our signals crossed. I thought that I had done something to anger you last weekend?"

 

Dean laughed and settled back into the couch, some of the tension draining out of him. "Hell no! You haven't done anything. I mean, I picked up some extra shifts because Gabriel left, but that's fine with me, and I've been making a hell of a lot more money as a result!"

 

Castiel watched as Dean relaxed and settled back into the couch. Dean wasn't angry. Dean was not upset. Dean still wanted him around. He was positive that he was going to start shaking in relief, any moment now. "How have things at the club been?" he offered. It was a neutral topic that didn't involve Sam, yet something that Dean could discuss openly with him, and he could see how much Dean appreciated the topic change.

 

"Honestly, it's been the same as always. Crowley's been asking after you though, telling me he wants you to give him a second chance," Dean said, his eyes slinking over to Cas before fixing on the television again. "I hope that you don't dare. You deserve way better than how he treated you, Cas."

 

Castiel chuckled and was able to pick up his own beer for the first time that evening, taking a slow sip of it. "I assure you I have no intentions whatsoever of going near Crowley again. I fear I am quite offended still at having been called boring."

 

Dean barked out a laugh and leaned over, tapping his beer bottle against Cas'. "Trust me. I know boring. The last thing you are is boring. Maybe a little nerdy."

 

"Maybe a lot nerdy," Castiel admitted, thinking of the few new t-shirts he had acquired at Dean's recommendation. Many of them involved Star Wars and Star Trek references. The few times he had worn them as an undershirt, Dean had beamed at him, and Castiel was not immune to that particular smile.

 

"Either way, it's fine. Crowley is a rampaging asshole, but that's to be expected! How's everything going with you and Gabriel? His new place coming along all right?" Dean asked, glancing around the room. "I don't see him here."

 

"He'll come back in a few hours, then be up with the dawn," Castiel explained. "I have never seen him so industrious, but he is determined to do everything properly."

 

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes. "I never would have pegged Gabriel as someone who wanted to open his own shop and run things."

 

Castiel smiled. "Well, I will be quitting my own job to do the accounting for him, so I very much would assure you that he is not on his own."

 

"You are?" Dean asked in surprise, staring at Cas. "Damn, Cas why didn't you tell me that?"

 

"I have only just now managed to convince Gabriel that it is going to be necessary," Castiel said, smiling at Dean. "Even if Gabriel does not succeed, though he will, I have more than enough money to live comfortably on until Gabriel begins to turn a profit."

 

Dean laughed and rolled his eyes. "Over-prepared as always, Cas. That doesn't surprise me in the slightest."

 

"It shouldn't," Castiel agreed, taking a long drag of his beer, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "Why am I drinking one of your beers when I have my own?"

 

"Great question!" Dean said, reaching out to swipe the mostly-full bottle away from Cas. "Stop wasting my good beer and go get something that you are actually going to enjoy drinking."

 

Castiel stood and walked over to the fridge, giving himself a moment to suck in a handful of deep breaths. He was almost weak-kneed from relief. Things were back to normal. Perhaps, at some point, they would need to discuss what had happened with Sam, and how his behavior had impacted Dean, but that could wait for another evening. "I think we need to watch another movie, as well, Dean. Do you have any suggestions?"

 

Dean laughed. "Why do I always have to pick the movie?"

 

"You know far more movies than I do," Castiel said, grabbing his beer and walking back into the living room to sit down across from Dean. He cleared his throat and opened the beer, taking a long sip of it with a pleased smile.

 

"All right, all right. Let's see, we got through the Star Trek movies. Now, oh, I should start you on Marvel. Your nerdy ass is going to be totally into comic book movies, I can tell already," Dean said, selecting a movie from a pile before walking over to the DVD player.

 

Castiel gave Dean a pleased smile and settled in to watch whatever Dean had selected. While Dean was mostly correct in his assessment (he had read a great many comics when he was younger), he had not watched any of the more modern options within movies. It would be interesting to see how they ended up against what he could remember reading.

 

Dean turned the player on and waited for the movie to start up.

 

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

"-an insult to Hawkeye! He is supposed to be deaf, Dean! Deaf! He wears hearing aids and they are one of the key components of his personality and character. And they have just chosen to ignore that fact completely and I cannot-"

 

Dean laughed and raised a hand to cut Cas off. "I asked if you liked the movie, Cas."

 

Castiel paused and tapped a finger to his chin. "Yes, I liked the movie very much. However, what they did to Hawkeye is completely unacceptable!"

 

Dean threw his head back and laughed. "I knew that you were going to end up loving the comic book movies. Didn't I tell you as much? I knew it."

 

Castiel huffed and glared at Dean for a moment, waiting for him to stop his laughing as he flopped onto the couch and grabbed another piece of pizza. It only took him a moment before he was smiling along with Dean. His humor was infectious and always fun to join.

 

"Want to watch the next one? I have a feeling that it's going to be just as rant-inducing as this one, if not more so," Dean teased, winking at Cas.

 

Cas sucked in a deep breath and stared at the television. "I do not know that that is a good thing for my blood pressure, Dean."

 

Dean burst out laughing, his head falling back as he stared at Cas. "Trust me, I want you to see it, if only so I can see what you are going to say about it when you rant. Because you will, I promise."

 

Castiel settled back down on the couch and nodded. "I suppose we can also watch the next one."

 

"I knew you'd come around," Dean said and took a moment to make sure that he had the next few DVDs queued up for the both of them to watch. "All right, settle back. I had no idea that you had read the comics when you were younger, so I want to know what you think of what they are doing with the plot of the movies."

 

Castiel huffed. "You just want to see me get angry again."

 

Dean laughed and didn't bother even trying to deny it. "I'm not going to lie, Cas. You're adorable when you get all indignant and angry about what a movie is doing. It's the stupidest thing in the world to get angry over."

 

"It’s _important_ ," Castiel said, narrowing his eyes at Dean.

 

Dean held his hands up. "Don't turn that wrath on me. I believe you, I absolutely do. I am just pointing out-"

 

"It would be wise to shut up now, Dean," Castiel advised, turning his attention to the movie as it started. He smiled and settled in as the comic book pages started to flit over the screen.

 

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

Just like that, it was easy to settle into a rhythm again. Dean was raking in the overtime with Gabriel now gone, and though it meant that he got to see Dean less, Castiel didn't mind. Dean was making money, he was comfortable, and he wasn't too tired. He hadn't tried to do anything more than find Dean after one of his shifts at the club to take him out for beers, but going in while Crowley was looking for him made his skin crawl.

 

Gabriel had completely buried himself in the work on his new store and for the first time in a long time, Castiel found himself with a great deal of time to himself. He took it in stride and managed to do a lot of listening to music that he hadn't been able to do before, testing out new bands that Dean had recommended and others that he hadn't.

 

Sam would be going back to school in a few weeks and Castiel couldn't help but be excited, because Sam had a surprise for Dean. He was going to be applying to several internships in the area, and while he was nervous about them, and Sam (who had finally met him one morning after they had binged on more movies and passed out) had asked him for advice on the applications.

 

He and Sam got along very well, and Dean always got a funny sort of look in his eyes whenever he saw the two of them together. Like he was happy and felt lucky and jealous all at once. Castiel usually stared at Dean whenever he wore it, trying to understand it better, what it meant, _why_ Dean was giving them that look, but Dean usually managed to distract him before he figured out the reason.

 

Castiel arrived at the apartment early, and was surprised to find Sam sitting at the table, a bottle of cheap whiskey in front of him. While Sam had been known to share a beer with them both, Castiel had never seen him break out the hard liquor like this. "Sam?" he asked, walking closer to the tall man who was slumped over the table.

 

"Cas, hey," Sam slurred, looking up at him. "Have you ever been in love?"

 

Castiel blinked at the question, but his mind went immediately to Dean, and he knew there was only one answer he could give. "I have, yes."

 

"It sucks, doesn't it?" Sam mumbled, rubbing at his face. "I hate it. I didn't even get to enjoy being in love, had to go and get my heart-broken to realize I even _was_."

 

Castiel sat down at the table next to Sam. "Is that why you have been acting the way you have around Dean?"

 

Sam gave a morose nod and sighed. "Dean keeps trying to get me to talk about it, but I can't. He's gonna be so angry and disappointed and-"

 

"I believe Dean is far more angry and upset that you do not trust him enough to talk to him, Sam," Castiel interrupted. "I do not think he will be disappointed in whatever you have to tell him, I assure you."

 

"You don't know what it _is_ ," Sam said with a groan, downing the rest of his glass. "I mean, Dean wouldn't be like Dad. He wouldn't kick me out or anything, but there's no way that I can tell him. I don't want to see the look on his face..."

 

"Sam," Castiel said, reaching out to rub Sam on the back. "Whatever it is, I can assure you that Dean is not going to kick you out, or anything like that. Even if you told him there were bodies to hide, he might be disappointed, but he would help you. He would do anything for you," he reassured. If anything, his statements seemed to make Sam crumple even more into himself and Castiel had to wonder what it was that was weighing on Sam like this. "Sam-"

 

"Cas? I fell in love. With a guy. A guy who I thought, who might..." Sam swallowed and stared at his empty glass. "But I was wrong."

 

Castiel took a moment to digest that and wondered what was so terrible about that. "I am sorry to hear that you were wrong about his feelings, and that you were hurt. However, I do not see what that has to do with Dean."

 

Sam laughed and dropped his face into his arms. "Fuck, I forgot, you're gay. Of course it wouldn't be a big deal to you..."

 

Ah. Now things were making more sense. "Your brother does not know that you like men as well as women?"

 

"Nope," Sam said, giving a sad sniffle. "Couldn't tell him. Couldn't let him know."

 

Castiel tilted his head to the side. "Why not?"

 

"Because he doesn't, and I don't want him to think that I'm gay, because I'm not, because I do love women, I _do_ , but just, he..."

 

"Was special," Castiel finished, his thoughts flying to Dean again, almost against his will. He thought the same of Dean. Dean was, is special to him, in every way that a person can be special to another. Castiel cleared his throat and reached out to rub Sam along the back.

 

It wasn't his place to say, but Dean had admitted to being with men in relationships, even if they were short term, and now Sam needed to hear that. But not from him.

 

"Yeah," Sam whispered, tightening his hold on his arms. "He was amazing, Cas. And I didn't tell him, because I was a fucking idiot."

 

"Well," Castiel said, continuing to rub Sam's back. "I think you need to tell your brother, and then you need to get your shit sorted out."

 

"He owns a bakery. He's starting one up. He's a stripper, or he was, rather," Sam grumbled, lifting his head to grab the bottle of whiskey and take a few swigs of it.

 

 _Oh_. Castiel stared at Sam, the events of the past few months suddenly clicking into place. Sam and Gabriel's erratic behavior. How they had both been acting heartbroken and hurt after Gabriel had left the club. He blinked and stared at Sam. Sam had to have no idea that Gabriel was his brother or he would never have said anything.

 

He thought of the sad look Gabriel had been wearing the past few weeks, the way it had slowly faded into a lingering wistful look. Sometimes Gabriel would see someone and sit up straighter before shaking himself and returning to whatever he had been doing. Castiel blew out a breath and sat back in his chair as he considered what he was supposed to say next.

 

"See? Even you think it's hopeless. I shouldn't have fallen in love with a stripper," Sam said, and stared at the bottle. "Just my fucking luck, of course."

 

Castiel took another deep breath. "I don't think it's hopeless. I think that you need to talk to him though."

 

Sam snorted. "How the hell am I supposed to do that? I have no idea where he is. Fucking hell, Cas, I don't even know his last _name_."

 

"Okay, first off, if he's a stripper or was a stripper at the club where your brother worked, your brother knows his last name," Cas reasoned, staring at Sam. "Secondly, you need to at least talk to him. He deserves that, especially if you were, ah, together when he was working."

 

Sam sighed and dropped his head to the table. "It's been weeks now. I bet he's forgotten all about me. Moved on to someone better."

 

Castiel thought about the sad expressions that Gabriel had on his face and rubbed Sam's back again. "And maybe he hasn't, and he's just waiting for you to make a move. Don't give up so easily, Sam."

 

Sam nodded and made a whining noise into his arms. "I really, really like him, Cas. I think I could love him really easy, too."

 

"Well," Castiel said, combing his fingers through Sam's hair, watching as he made a content noise. "I think that means, you need to have a conversation with your brother. And then you need to go after him. But first, you need to go to bed and sleep off this alcohol."

 

He took the bottle away from Sam's fingers, despite his protesting noise and stood up. "Into the shower and then bed with you," Castiel ordered, cleaning up the small mess that Sam had made on the table. It only took him a few minutes and he was finished when Dean got home from his shift at the Roadhouse.

 

Castiel was waiting for him, a beer in hand. He ignored the way Dean's smile made his heart turn over and grin right back at him. He didn't need to take his own advice. He was more than fine just making sure that Sam followed it. That was all that needed to happen. Dean didn't want anything more, their one drunken night aside, and he needed to get used to that simple fact.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

Two nights later, Dean called him, asking for company. Sam was going to be going out with some friends who had come back up to move into school early. And though Stanford was only a twenty minute drive away, Sam was more than willing to crash with them for a day and help them move in.

 

Castiel knew that Sam had told Dean about his falling in love, and with whom, the second he saw the grim look on Dean's face. He smiled and walked past Dean without a word. "We're getting the good stuff. I will get glasses. You sit on the couch," Castiel ordered.

 

Dean groaned. "You knew, of course you fucking knew. Did he tell you because he was too scared to tell me?"

 

Castiel chuckled and grabbed a pair of glasses. "No, of course not. He told me, because I came home to find him drunk and convinced him to tell me what was wrong," He paused on his way back to the living room. "You don't care, do you?"

 

"What, that he was fucking a dude? Hell no. I might be an asshole, but I try not to be that much of a hypocrite. I couldn't give two shits about the fact that it's a guy. Not pleased it's Gabriel, though," Dean muttered, taking the glass from Cas.

 

Castiel took a deep breath. Of course he had to be the levelheaded one in all of this. "There is nothing wrong with my brother, Dean."

 

"No, no, but he's an asshole," Dean said, smiling as Cas poured some of the whiskey into his glass.

 

"So are you," Castiel pointed out, pouring himself a glass. He would need alcohol to get through this conversation.

 

"Yeah, but," Dean huffed and stared at the ceiling. "Falling for my brother? Seriously? I mean, to top that off, he even thought that I was going to kick him out or something fucking stupid."

 

Castiel smiled and took a sip of his whiskey, staring at Dean with a knowing grin. "Chick flick moments abound?"

 

Dean groaned and downed the rest of his glass. "Fucking hugged it out and everything. He's such an insecure brat. Of course I wasn't going to throw him out."

 

"I know, and told him as much. But he refused to listen. Insecurities are rarely rational, Dean," Castiel said, staring at the other man.

 

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know," Dean mumbled, watching Cas pour him another glass. "I have no idea what he sees in your brother."

 

"Neither do I, but since neither of us are attracted to my brother, I don't think that we would be able to be in his shoes and understand where he is coming from," Castiel pointed out. "Stop trying to understand, Dean. I believe that it would help. Love is rarely rational."

 

Dean huffed and stared at his glass and swirled the liquid in it. "Do you think that they are in love?"

 

Castiel hummed and considered the question. "I think that the potential is there. Gabriel has been...far quieter than usual over the past few weeks, and I believe that his relationship with your brother might be the cause of that," he said, tapping the side of the glass.

 

"Gabriel? Quiet?" Dean asked, managing a laugh.

 

"Indeed. He's thrown himself into the work that he is doing. Not that he would not have, otherwise, but he is trying to forget something, that is clear," Castiel said, sipping from his glass again.

 

Dean sighed and flopped back on the couch. "So we've got two heartbroken brothers. And we need to figure out what to do with them. When does Gabriel's shop open?"

 

Castiel considered the question and smiled at Dean. "In three weeks."

 

"Right, just before Sam goes back to school," Dean said, sighing. "I don't even know if I want to help them fix this. Sam's going to be in school, and he spends all of his free time studying. Gabriel is going to be busy with the new business, what kind of time are they going to have for each other?"

 

Castiel reached out and touched Dean's arm, giving it a slow squeeze. "That is not a question for us to answer, Dean. That is up to them, and if they consider it worth it. Perhaps they could simply try dating, and then if there is anything more that comes of it from there, you can give Gabriel the speech I can already see you planning."

 

Dean snorted and downed the rest of his glass again. "Fucking hell! Gabriel fucking my younger brother. I am going to spend the rest of the evening not thinking about that, if it's all the same to you, Cas."

 

Castiel laughed and finished off the rest of his glass. "I think that finishing off the rest of the bottle we are currently working on may be an excellent way to do that."

 

"Sounds perfect," Dean said, reaching for the bottle again.

 

Castiel spared only a moment to wonder if this was a bad idea before he let Dean take a few swigs directly from the bottle. He could always buy them another one.

 

Memories of what had happened the last time they had gotten this drunk clouded his vision and Castiel had to shake his head, trying hard not to think about it anymore than he already did.

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

Three hours later, Dean was a drunken, ranting mess. Castiel stared at him, in awe, as the blush on his cheeks got brighter, his freckles standing out, his green eyes vibrant and demanding his attention.

 

"I'm telling you, I know how bendy Gabriel is. I used to watch him strip every single night and to think about him with my _brother_ -"

 

"I thought we agreed that we weren't going to talk about this?" Castiel said, reaching over to poke Dean in the cheek. He dragged his finger slowly down and over Dean's freckles, ending with a last poke at the corner of Dean's lips. Dean stared at him in surprise.

 

"Hey Cas," Dean drawled, turning to face the other man. "Can I ask you a question?"

 

Castiel smiled and leaned back against the couch, staring at Dean. Dean was loose-limbed and relaxed now that he had finished his latest rant. "Of course, Dean. You can ask me anything."

 

Dean bit down on his lip and Castiel had to resist the urge to groan. Damn the man for looking so perfectly tempting with his lip slowly filling with blood like that. It reminded him far too much about that night he was trying not to think about.

 

The night that he shouldn’t think about, really.

 

"-huh, Cas?" Dean asked.

 

Castiel blinked and refocused on Dean. Dean was staring at him with a mix of sadness and curiosity and Castiel cleared his throat. He cursed and smiled at Dean. "I'm sorry Dean, I couldn't hear you."

 

"Liar," Dean said, rolling his eyes. "You're so bad at lying, Cas. What were you thinking about?"

 

"You," Castiel admitted, watching as Dean lit up, his eyes turning bright in a second. Castiel would never be able to resist those eyes like that. Dean was a weapon, designed to tear down his walls until he went mad. "Will you tell me what you asked? Please?"

 

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes. "Only because you were distracted thinking about me! I consider that a completely acceptable excuse!"

 

Castiel rolled his eyes and waited for Dean to make whatever point he was planning on. Dean sobered again, staring at him with those big, green eyes and those lips that Castiel wanted to kiss senseless.

 

"Why don't we talk about that night that happened? Was I really that bad? I mean, it's not like, it was terrible. I mean, well, fuck, I don't even know what I mean anymore," Dean rambled, staring at Cas. "Forget I asked. Probably better if we just forget about it, anyways."

 

Castiel swallowed hard, his mouth dry as the savannah as he stared at Dean. "What? Are you talking about the night where we..." he trailed off, not able to force himself to complete the thought. He didn't like talking or thinking about it. The longing was too much.

 

"Yeah," Dean mumbled. "Nevermind. Forget I asked."

 

Castiel reached out and grabbed Dean's arm, squeezing too hard. But Dean, he couldn't have Dean looking like that, like he looked every time he got a chance to see his face in the mirror. Heartbreak was never a look he wanted to see on Dean, not if it was in his power to prevent it anyway that he possibly could. " _Dean_."

 

"No, Cas, I mean, forget it. I just need to forget it, since it's obvious that you already have and-"

 

"It was incredible," Castiel interrupted, staring at Dean. He cleared his throat and forced himself to meet Dean's eyes. "That night. You were not bad. You were, you were amazing. You are amazing, Dean."

 

The blush was back in full force on Dean's cheeks and Castiel could see the way his mouth had dropped open and was held in a tempting 'o' before Dean was trying to say something.

 

"So, so, why'd you-"

 

Castiel cleared his throat. "I thought you would prefer if I forgot that it had happened."

 

Dean groaned and shifted immediately, pinning Cas to the arm of the couch. "You can't say shit like that," he growled, pressing his hands into Cas' shoulders, straddling his waist.

 

"Dean," Castiel tried to interrupt him, only to find Dean's lips, hot on his, kissing him, hard and deep and demanding. It brought everything he had been trying to suppress to the forefront again. Every feeling he had tried to keep at bay, the overwhelming love and want and desire he had for Dean flooded over them.

 

Even if this was going to be another mistake, even if it was going to be the end of him, he wanted it, wanted more than he had ever wanted anything before in his life. Castiel moaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders, pulling him down so their bodies could slide together.

 

He wanted to feel Dean, wanted to get him into bed all over again, wanted to lay him out in bed and worship him properly and never let him go again. There were some things that he wanted in a way he had never wanted anything before in his life, and they all revolved around Dean.

 

When Dean pulled back from the kiss enough to give him a moment to breathe, Castiel moved his hands to Dean's hair and tugged. "Bed," he demanded. He was going to get Dean on the bed and even if he couldn't taste him, he was going to at least taste his skin, take his time and do his best to make this perfect for Dean.

 

"Why, Cas, I love it when you get all growly and take control like that," Dean purred, pulling Castiel off the couch. "Come on. Get into my room. I'll even dance and strip just for you. Been meaning to give you a dance."

 

Castiel didn't let himself think too hard on what that meant, and why Dean wanted to give him a private dance. There was too much hope in those words, and he'd already been burned by them once before. He didn't need that again. In fact, it might break him if he had to go back to pretending that he did not care for Dean again. "Dean-"

 

"Nope!" Dean interrupted. "I'm dancing for you and that's final. What's the point of teaching you all about this music if I can't make sure that you understand just how dirty they can be with the proper hip rolls."

 

Castiel couldn't help his smile. "So are you suggesting that The Miracle Hip Sway is actually something that you do?”

 

Dean opened the door to his bedroom and leveled a finger at Cas. "If you ever, ever, ever tell Gabriel that I've admitted it-"

 

Castiel leaned forward and did the only thing he could think of in that moment to shut Dean up. He sucked the tip of Dean's finger into his mouth and licked over the pad of his fingertip, watching those bright green eyes go suddenly dark with want.

 

"Fuck," Dean whispered, his voice hoarse. "Cas, sit on the bed before I pin you to the damn door."

 

"You and your door fetish," Castiel grumbled, but stripped his belt and socks off a moment later, sitting down on the bed to watch as Dean went over to the stereo and flipped a song on. He immediately recognized it as one of the songs from Dean's routines.

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

"All right," Dean said, stretching as the music started before he strode towards Cas. He gave his hips a slow roll to the beat of the music and smirked at Castiel. "You've never seen me give a lapdance, have you?"

 

Castiel was certain that he had never been this turned on in his life. A lapdance. "No, I haven't," he managed, groaning when Dean straddled his legs and gave a slow grind in his lap.

 

Dean grinned and reached up to bury his fingers in Cas' hair, giving a slow tug. "Well, I think that you are missing out, as this is something I clearly need to fix this fucking second."

 

Castiel growled and lifted his hands, placing the at Dean's waist, yanking him closer. Dean gave a delighted laugh and followed the coaxing of his hand, and then Dean was rubbing against him and Castiel dropped his head to Dean's chest, moaning long and low again.

 

"Fuck," Dean panted, giving a few more slow grinds before he climbed off of Cas and swayed his hips as he walked a few steps away, undoing the zipper on his jeans. "This is a lot easier with jeans that are actually meant to come off."

 

Castiel barked out a laugh and rolled his eyes. "I'm not surprised." When Dean finally managed to strip off his jeans, shirt and boxers, turning to him wearing absolutely nothing, his breath caught. _Fuck_. "Dean," he breathed.

 

"Yes?" Dean said, running a hand down his chest as he walked back over to Cas. "I think you're wearing too many clothes." He trailed a hand over the buttons on Cas' shirt and then took a handful in each side of the shirt, giving one hard tug before sending the buttons scattering everywhere.

 

Castiel wanted to laugh, but Dean was looking at him like he only did in his dreams and he wasn't about to try to break the moment. "Dean, am I your cherry pie?"

 

Dean froze and stared at Cas, raising an eyebrow. "Did you really just ask me that question?"

 

Castiel burst out laughing at the stunned expression on Dean's face and fell back on the bed. He spent another precious minute getting his slacks off and shoved over the side of the bed, before he pushed his boxers off as well. Dean seemed to have forgotten about his joking question and was instead staring at him, his look heated and full of intent.

 

"Cas?"

 

"Yes, Dean?" Castiel managed, almost breathless as he stared at Dean.

 

"I'm going to climb on top of you now," Dean said.

 

Castiel forgot all about the music that was playing in the background and focused on Dean. Dean and his glorious miles and miles of skin that was climbing on top of him. He sucked in a breath and tried to focus in a little bit more on Dean as he slowly pressed every single inch of their bodies together. "Dean," he moaned.

 

"Fuck, I love it when you say my name like that," Dean whispered, leaning down to kiss at Cas' neck, making sure that he didn't leave a mark. Fuck, he wanted. "Gonna make you feel so good, Cas, I promise. I want to make sure you feel so good you can’t fucking stand it."

 

Castiel wanted to laugh. As if he could feel anything but good with Dean. This was what he had needed, what he craved, what he had thought about in his every sleeping moment, let alone waking moment. He pulled Dean into another kiss and groaned when Dean rocked his hips down, grinding their cocks together in a slow burst of pleasure.

 

He wanted to spend hours with Dean, but they were already desperate for each other, and maybe this had been building up since the first time they had done this. Maybe they had both wanted this and it wasn't just him. It wasn't something that he needed alone. Castiel watched Dean and how swollen his lips were when he pulled away. He licked his and leaned up for another kiss from Dean, this one slower, more purposeful.

 

Dean laughed and pressed another kiss to Cas' neck. "Fuck, like this, yeah, Cas? Like this, take the edge off."

 

Castiel nodded, desperate for anything, for whatever Dean would be willing to give him. He would take all of it, and he would savor it for when reality crashed back over them and took the place of the bliss that they were finding together like this. "Yes, Dean, please," he whispered and the dark look returned to Dean's eyes again, and Castiel shivered underneath him, spreading his legs to make more room for Dean.

 

Dean shifted and knelt, getting them into a better position, before he wrapped his hand around both of their cocks and gave a slow, firm stroke.

 

Castiel bucked his hips up, crying out, desperate for the touch of more, needing more. "Dean, please, please!"

 

"I gotcha Cas, I'm going to take care of you," Dean whispered, leaning down to kiss him again.

 

It was almost too much, having Dean on top of him like this, slowly stroking them faster and faster. Castiel fought for control, wanting this to last forever. Maybe he would manage to touch Dean more than he had this past time. He needed to think about what it would cost him to have Dean like this.

 

He couldn't avoid it after this. Not after what Dean had said, what Dean had asked in the living room. He had ignored it because he had thought that was what Dean wanted. If that wasn't what he wanted, then they would need to talk and find their ways forward together. Maybe they would even end up somewhere that he didn't expect.

 

"Am I boring you?" Dean panted, leaning down to kiss and lick at Castiel's lower lip. He sucked it into his mouth and stared.

 

Castiel found himself completely lost to the sight of Dean's eyes, staring down at him, because there was no way that he could possibly catalogue every emotion available there for him. "No, never, Dean. Please, I need-"

 

"I know," Dean whispered and leaned down to kiss Cas again.

 

This kiss was the worst one, because it was gentle and unassuming and so filled with hope, Castiel had to disguise his whimper as a moan. This was what he had always wanted with Dean. This gentle comfort that could build into an inferno at the slightest provocation.

 

Dean resumed his stroking of them both, and this time there was no stopping. Castiel bucked up and into the rough touch of Dean's hand, staring at his green eyes and watching the way sweat collected in his hairline as they moved together. Dean was beautiful. He was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen. "Dean, you're so, please, I need-"

 

"I know," Dean panted, leaning down to kiss Cas at the corner of his lips. "I know, Cas. I can feel it. Come on, wanna see you, please," he begged.

 

Castiel shivered, and he was not going to last long. There was no way he could last with the look in Dean's eyes and the way that he pleaded. He clenched his fingers around Dean's hips and yanked him down again, their lips crashing together as they came, Dean swallowing the cry of his name, then kissing him through his orgasm, his hand coaxing him through it until he was wrung dry.

 

Castiel settled back to the bed, panting, carding his fingers through Dean’s hair as they both tried to catch their breath. It was just like before, whirlwind passion, and it was going to be over in a moment. He had to savor this while he could, and any of the last lingering effects of the alcohol were long gone.

 

Dean managed to lift himself up and stared down at Cas. He grinned and leaned down to lick up a trail of sweat on Cas’ neck. “Well, now that we’ve taken the edge off...what do you say to you fucking me properly?”

 

Castiel blinked and stared up at Dean, at the way his hair was sticking up all over the place and the way he was giving a sweet, lazy grin. His heart turned over in his chest again and he pulled Dean in for a kiss. Dean came to him willingly enough, kissing him softly, then deeper as it went on.

 

Dean groaned into the kiss before licking his lips and pulling back. “Jesus, Cas, you trying to kill me here?”

 

“Absolutely not,” Castiel said, tugging on Dean’s hair to pull him into another kiss. He bit down on Dean’s lower lip and smirked at Dean as he rolled them over and pinned Dean to the bed. “I would not have asked you to let me take you.”

 

“I know,” Dean said, spreading his legs wide to let Cas sink closer. He wiggled his hips and licked his lips, stretching himself out underneath Cas. “Which is why I’m offering it up. Now, are you going to take advantage?”

 

Castiel swallowed and looked up at Dean’s dresser, reaching out to grab the bottle of lube that was sitting there. He leaned down and pressed a kiss over Dean’s heart. He could have imagined the small gasp that escaped from Dean, but he was going to pretend that it did happen. He pressed his ear to Dean’s chest, over his heart, and listened to it beat for a few precious seconds before kissing Dean’s sternum before tracing his tongue lower.

 

"Not that I'm not appreciating your-ah!" Dean said, squirming as Castiel paused and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. He huffed and glared at the other man. "Ticklish."

 

Castiel stared at Dean for a moment, blinking slowly before looking down at the skin in front of him. He dug his fingers in, just a fraction and watched Dean squirm again, starting to laugh.

 

"Cas, I'll fucking kill you," Dean growled, pushing at him.

 

Castiel merely smiled and traced his tongue down the lines of Dean's abdomen to where the cut of his hipbones was. "Since I would very much like to continue living, I'll cease."

 

Dean relaxed and spread his legs a little wider. "Good. I'm not in the mood to murder you just yet!"

 

"Yet," Castiel grumbled, pouring some of the lubricant into his hand. "Now, relax for me."

 

"Yep," Dean said, wiggling his hips. "Get a move on before I get bored here."

 

Castiel bit down on the thin flesh of Dean's inner thigh and watched him gasp with a smirk. "Behave, Dean. I wouldn't want to spank you."

 

Dean was not going to admit that that took him from half-hard to fully hard, because Cas had big hands, nice and rough with calluses, and fuck, being spanked by him would be amazing, that was for certain.

 

"Dean?" Castiel asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

 

Dean coughed and shook his head. "Maybe, uh, maybe next time. Just get a move on, I'd like to fuck you tonight and not some time in the future."

 

Castiel hummed and put the lube bottle down, leaning in to press another kiss to Dean's hip. "Of course, Dean," he said, teasing Dean with a single finger.

 

Dean arched under him and growled, low and insistent. Castiel smiled at the sound and pushed his finger in, slow and gentle with careful rocks, letting Dean's body adjust to him.

 

"Fuck, Cas, I'm not fragile..."

 

Castiel smiled. "No, of course you aren't. But you deserve to be cherished. And I will cherish you, Dean."

 

Dean sucked in a breath and shivered as Cas pressed his finger all of the way in and rubbed over his prostate. "Fuck!"

 

"Yes, precisely," Castiel said, repeating the motion, fucking Dean with his finger, nice and slow before pulling his hand out and coating a second finger.

 

"Cas," Dean whined, rocking his hips back. "Come on already!"

 

Castiel chuckled and shook his head. "Not likely to get me to rush, Dean. I told you that I wanted to take my time, and I will," he promised, slipping a second finger just inside the rim, slowly stretching and teasing Dean open wider.

 

Dean was beautiful in the way he opened up, almost without resistance, his lips bitten red as he begged for more. Castiel started to stroke him, wrapping a hand around Dean's cock, watching him buck and moan.

 

"Yes, that's it," Castiel said, carefully scissoring his fingers, making certain that there would be no pain for Dean.

 

"Fuck, Cas, I'm ready!"

 

"No," Castiel said, teasing Dean with a third finger. "I will have you mindless with desire first, begging for me to take you."

 

Dean gasped and shivered, rocking his hips down on Cas' fingers. They were longer than his, and fuck if the bastard wasn't hitting his prostate every single time. "Fucking gonna kill me!"

 

Castiel bent himself slowly down and licked across the tip of Dean's cock, watching as he moaned, long and loud. "Only a little death, Dean."

 

Dean clenched his eyes shut and groaned. "Leave the terrible jokes to the professionals, please!"

 

Castiel paused with all three of his fingers buried deep into Dean. "Oh? Are you sure about that?"

 

Dean felt his stomach sink and opened one eye to look at Cas. Damn the bastard for smirking at him like that. "Pretty fucking sure you little shit. Now move!"

 

Castiel shook his head and kept his hand still, breathing slowly as Dean squirmed on his fingers again, clenching down on them nice and hard. "I think I might torture you, just like this, for saying that I cannot make bad jokes too."

 

Dean grunted and shifted his hips up and slammed them back down on Cas' fingers with a low moan. "Fine! You wanna be mean, then I'll take what I want, maybe I should even ride you and do this properly."

 

Castiel's breath left him in a rush and he stared at Dean. "Would you do that? Ride me?"

 

Dean blinked and froze, before rolling off of Cas' fingers and scrambling for the lube bottle. "You bet your ass I will! Down on the bed, and you're going to watch a master work!"

 

He hadn't expected Dean's response to be quite that enthusiastic at the suggestion, but he wasn't about to complain. Castiel settled down onto the bed, watching Dean drizzle lube into his hand before tossing the bottle away, fumbling in the bedside drawer again. His eyes widened as Dean tossed a foil packet at him and raised an eyebrow when he realized they were his size. Condoms. Of course.

 

"Get it on," Dean growled, watching Cas fumble with the packet for a second before he managed to get the condom rolled on without an issue. "There, finally!"

 

Castiel breathed as Dean wrapped a hand around his cock and coated him thoroughly in lube before straddling his thighs and getting him into position. "Dean, please..."

 

Dean laughed. "Oh, now you're begging me to do something, of course. When I'm the one in control."

 

Castiel bit down on his lip and kept his hips flush to the mattress, waiting for Dean to move. Dean started to sink down onto him, and despite the condom, he'd never felt anything so hot, or tight. "Dean, oh Dean."

 

"Fuck, you saying my name like that," Dean whispered, panting hard as he slowly rocked back, taking more and more of Castiel before he was fully seated. He took a few seconds and then grinned at Cas. "Ready to get this party started, Cas?"

 

"If you're ready, Dean," Castiel said, clearing his throat, his hips rocking up, just a small fraction as Dean lifted himself and started to move.

 

"You should be," Dean panted. "So glad I'm a stripper, ‘cause otherwise, my thighs would be ready to murder me after this."

 

Castiel managed to laugh as Dean lifted himself slowly, then sank back down in a slow ripple of muscle and skin. He swallowed hard. Dean was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen in his entire life. "Dean, please,"

 

Dean smiled and leaned down to kiss Cas, the kiss wet and messy and sloppy as they rocked together, building the pace nice and slow. It didn't take him long to be slamming his hips back for every thrust, Castiel driving into him with every moment for counter rhythm.

 

"Dean, Dean," Castiel panted, reaching up to trail his fingers down Dean's collarbone and along the pale, freckled skin of his shoulders. Dean wasn't as pale as some people he knew, but his freckles stood out easily, especially when his cheeks and neck were flushed with arousal. "You're so beautiful,"

 

"Guys aren't beautiful," Dean panted, rocking back again, muffling a shout as Cas' cock dragged across his prostate fucking perfectly. "I'm handsome."

 

Castiel chuckled and gasped as Dean clenched down around him. "Dean!"

 

"Admit it," Dean growled, leaning down lick at the trail of sweat beading down Castiel's neck. "Come on, Cas."

 

Castiel reached up and tangled his fingers into Dean's hair, yanking him into a kiss, sucking hard at his bottom lip before pulling away to whisper, "You are the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen and now I want to see you come for me."

 

Dean gave another low whine and rocked back on Cas' cock, taking him in deep and grinding against him, over-stimulating his prostate. "Fuck, yes. Cas, stroke me, please?"

 

Castiel nodded and didn't take his eyes off Dean as he wrapped a hand around Dean and started to stroke, keeping careful rhythm with Dean as he slammed himself down over and over again. "Not gonna, Dean, please..."

 

"Yeah, yeah, I gotcha, gonna take such good care of you," Dean promised, panting hard, squeezing around Cas as he bounced in his lap, shuddering as Cas pressed his thumb to the underside of the head and massaged. He could already feel his balls drawing up and fuck, he wanted this to last, but he was gonna come and make a fucking mess of things and-

 

"Dean," Castiel ordered, his voice a low growl. " _Come_."

 

That growl should not have done it for him, but fuck, he was coming so hard he nearly blacked out, his head falling back as he slammed his hips down, grinding hard onto Cas. A few seconds later, he could feel Cas swelling and then he was coming.

 

Dean gave himself a moment to curse the fucking condom, because he wanted to feel taken, properly taken by Cas, but that'd have to wait, for another time they both got too drunk to keep hiding. He slumped down and pressed his forehead to Cas, giving him a dopey grin. "That was really good," he slurred.

 

Castiel leaned up and kissed Dean, soft and gentle. "It was perfect, Dean, rather like you."

 

Dean clenched his eyes shut and rubbed his face with a hand. The hazy glow of a fucking awesome orgasm was still clouding his head and he wanted to do nothing more than nap and then wake up and maybe do it all over again. "'m not perfect."

 

"No, decidedly not. No one perfect could belch the alphabet after a few beers."

 

Dean giggled, happy and come drunk. He wiggled a little and managed to slide off of Cas, biting his lip at how empty he felt now, like this. "Need to clean up," he mumbled.

 

Castiel shifted and helped Dean lay down on his back. "Stay here, I'll take care of that," he ordered, grabbing a few tissues off the nightstand, and using it to wipe them both up, cleaning them up with quick and efficient swipes.

 

By the time he finished, Dean was snoring, his face half-mashed into a pillow. Castiel watched him for several long moments and reached out, combing his fingers through the messy hair. Dean made a pleased noise and pushed into his touch.

 

Castiel settled onto the bed next to Dean and continued his slow petting. He would be gone before Dean ever woke up. That would be for the best. It was always for the best.

 

Dean was so beautiful like this, his lips parted, quiet snores escaping him as he breathed in deep, his entire body relaxed. Castiel kept up his slow petting, allowing himself a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes and then he would...

 

He would...

 

He fell asleep with his fingers tangled in Dean's hair.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Dean blinked awake when his bladder made him aware that he needed to take a piss and he needed to do it, about two hours ago. He looked over his shoulder and stared at the window and the sunlight streaming through.

 

Fuck, he'd slept in. At least he didn't need to be in to work at the garage today.

 

"Mmmfph."

 

Dean blinked and froze and looked over his shoulder. Castiel was still curled up on the other side of the bed, his face scrunched up in indignation at being woken up before he was ready. Dread filled his stomach as he realized they were both buck-fucking-naked and he had most definitely been fucked last night if his sore ass was any indication.

 

 _Shit_. **_Shiiiiiit_**. Mother fucking shit on a goddamn stick, he was screwed. _So_ screwed.

 

Dean cleared his throat. "Uh. Cas?"

 

Castiel sat bolt upright in bed and met Dean's eyes, staring at him in shock. He'd fallen asleep. They were both naked. Dean was even more beautiful in the sunlight, lit up like this. He cleared his throat and looked down at the bedspread. This was it. It would be the end of their friendship. "Yes, Dean?"

 

"I'm, I'm gonna put pants on and go put coffee on. I've got spare pants in the drawer. Uh, help, uh, yourself," Dean mumbled, grabbing his boxers from the side of the bed before he tugged them on.

 

Castiel watched him go and felt his heart sink. He took a deep breath and stood, walking over to the dresser, pulling out pants and a t-shirt. He slipped them on and padded out into the kitchen, following the scent of coffee.

 

Dean was waiting for him in the kitchen with a mug, and handed it to him without a word, sitting down on the couch. Castiel swallowed and sat down next to him, careful not to touch him. "Dean?"

 

Dean sighed and settled onto the couch next to Castiel. “Cas?”

 

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel asked, glancing at him.

 

"We're fucking idiots. Can we agree on that?" Dean asked.

 

Castiel hummed and looked at the empty bottle of alcohol on the coffee table in front of them. "I believe that I agree with the assessment, Dean."

 

"Okay," Dean said, and took another deep breath. Sam was off doing whatever with Gabriel, getting their shit sorted and talking it through. He pushed his fingers through his hair and tugged on it, giving himself a moment before he leaned back against the cushions. "So, where are we at?"

 

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked, turning to look at Dean.

 

"Well, we've had two amazing nights together, that we both now know the other knows about. Both under the influence of alcohol. I don't..." Dean sighed and forced himself to look at Cas. He cleared his throat. "I don't want to pretend this didn't happen."

 

Cas stared at him and Dean resisted the urge to squirm under the intense look. He leaned forward and offered his hand up on the cushions between them. "Look, I'm an asshole, and I fucking, I'm really fucking bad at this. I work three jobs, I don't have a lot of free time, and I am really, really fucking bad at this."

 

Castiel smiled and stared at Dean, dropping his hand to touch Dean's, wrapping his around it, slowly. "One might argue that we are both rather bad at this."

 

Dean felt his heart start pounding all over again as Cas took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Fuck, he was a teenage girl in love, and Cas, fuck, Cas was smiling that smile at him. That one he'd seen only a couple of times, the one where his eyes crinkled at the sides and Cas looked so fucking _happy_...

 

"Dean?" Cas asked, squeezing his hand again, tugging him closer. "I would very much like for us to talk before we fall into bed again."

 

Dean blinked and looked down at Cas' hand. "You're sending me a few mixed signals, what with the tugging me closer thing."

 

Castiel smiled and lifted Dean's hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "I do not want you to get the wrong impression, however, I do wish to speak a little further before we do fall into bed again."

 

"I really want to get you into bed sober," Dean said, grinning at Cas.

 

Castiel leaned in and kissed Dean, hard and deep. "And I want you to get tested, so I do not need to taste you through latex."

 

Dean groaned and pressed his free hand to his dick. Down boy, needed to wait until they were done talking first. "Right, so now that we've got that settled, what else do we need to go over before I pull you into bed and don't let you leave?"

 

Castiel smiled. "I want you to know this. I do not expect to hear it back, but I need you to know this. I love you." He watched Dean gasp, and his green eyes go wide, before he continued. "You are amazing, Dean. You care so much for your brother that you have helped him sort out things with Gabriel, and I have never seen Gabriel that happy. You, care for me, which I find impossible. And you work harder and care more than anyone I have ever met in my entire life. I love you, and I will never stop loving you."

 

Castiel felt his hands start to shake a little and held onto Dean tighter. "I never want you to stop teaching me about music, or about movies. I want to learn every pop culture reference you know, and I want you to be the one to teach me." He cleared his throat and stared at Dean. "And I want you to understand that, before we, well, we continue further."

 

Dean stared at Cas, and tried to think of what he could say back to that. He reached out with both hands and yanked Cas into another kiss, hard and desperate, before it melted into gentle and soft, both of their lips just moving and tasting each other.

 

When he finally pulled away, Cas was smiling at him, so hopefully he'd gotten most of the message. Dean cleared his throat and traced his thumbs over Cas' cheeks and pressed their foreheads together.

 

"I'm shit at confessions. And I can't, say it, not yet. But, uh, as long as you want me, Cas, I'm here. I need you," Dean admitted, dropping his eyes from Cas' to stare down at the couch beneath them both. Would that be enough? Cas deserved someone who could say those words back to him, and love him like he needed.

 

"Dean," Cas growled.

 

Dean snapped his eyes back up to Cas and stared at him, breathing hard. "Cas?"

 

Castiel relaxed a fraction and cupped Dean's face, pulling him in again until their lips slid together. They kissed until they were both desperate for air and their kiss had turned deep and heated.

 

Dean pulled back and took up, reaching out to take Cas' hand. "All right, are we done talking?"

 

Cas nodded and chuckled. "Yes, I believe we are."

 

"Excellent. I owe you an answer to a question that you asked me."

 

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

 

Dean nodded. "Yup," he said, leading Cas to the bedroom. He pushed the other man down on the edge of the bed and walked over to the stereo in his room. "Remember what you asked me last night?"

 

Cas' eyes widened in understanding and Dean smirked. "Yeah, that question. Why don't you ask it again?"

 

Castiel laughed, his head falling back as he kicked off his socks and pulled his belt off. "Are you sure?"

 

Dean grinned and hit a button on the stereo, his hips starting to sway. "Come on, Cas, ask it."

 

"You do know I was joking, when I asked?" Castiel said, starting to remove his shirt.

 

"Of course!" Dean said, smirking. "Doesn't mean I'm not gonna give you a proper answer tonight though."

 

"All right, all right, fine," Castiel agreed, looking up at Dean with a smirk. Dean had already stripped off his shirt and Cas couldn't resist licking his lips as the sounds of Warrant filled the room.

 

"Am I your cherry pie?"

 

"Damn fucking right you are!"

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> You can find me here: 
> 
> [Aria-Lerendeair ](http://aria-lerendeair.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can also watch me write fics like this (and dozens of others) live! Follow me on Livestream for fics, shenanigans and a general all-around awesome time! http://new.livestream.com/accounts/7212317


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